Sara's Little Diversion
by Bellabrew
Summary: [GSR] Grissom discovers Sara's diversion, a deaf child from a crime scene. Could he Sara and her little girl make a family? Rating changed to M
1. Chapter 1

RATING: T for future chapters just in case

SPOILERS: Shouldn't have any but would have to come after Season 6.

DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own either CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them. I wish I did, but I don't so I'm just borrowing them for a little recreation or re-creation depending on where Season 6 takes us.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Reviews appreciated. After reading a number of GSR fics with pregnancies I found this story knocking around in my head. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

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Sara knocked on the door quietly before entering. "Grissom I need you to approve my Leave of Absence."

"What are you running from this time?"

"Nothing I just have some family stuff that needs to be taken care of and can't get it all done on my days off. I'll be back before you know it." Sara flashed a bright smile and he felt better about signing the form. "Thanks Griss."

It was only when he looked closer at the form and noticed that the Family Medical Leave Act box was checked. That worried him, that box was marked for pregnancy and family illness. He couldn't quite ignore the feeling that his world was coming to an end. So when a few days later he needed Sara to decipher some case notes, he'd called her. Grissom set the handset down firmly just managing to control his temper just enough not to slam the phone down.

He'd been trying to reach for hours and couldn't reach her by phone. He'd tried her pager and cell first then finally dialed her home number. He'd been shocked when the message that her home phone had been disconnected started playing. He'd checked the number and redialed it, his concern growing when the message started again. Glancing at his watch he decided it was time to go, maybe he'd drop by her apartment and try and catch her there. Sara's apartment was empty. It looked like she had left without saying goodbye.

He didn't want to be alone after discovering that she was gone so he pulled into the fast food restaurant with little thought. After getting his breakfast he found a seat in the back, where he could watch the couple of children playing in the cage of balls watched by their mothers. He didn't pay much attention to the blonde, it was the brunette that caught and held his attention. She reminded him of Sara and his heart dropped. She'd been right and now it was too late after all.

He couldn't take his eyes off the woman in the light green sundress. She had captured his attention and he waited for her to turn so he could see her face. During the Debbie Marin case he'd kept seeing Sara even though he knew she was fine. Now he wanted to assure himself that he wasn't projecting like that again. It would help if this woman didn't really look that much like Sara. He noticed the signs passing between the girl and her mother and smiled.

_I need bathroom Mommy._

_Let's go. _The woman held out her hand and the little girl grabbed it.

Grissom knew he was seated on the route to the bathroom and couldn't wait to finally get a glimpse of the woman. He pretended to be focused on his newspaper, but was using it as cover. His breath caught as he realized it was Sara walking hand in hand with a little girl. As they passed by his mind kept repeating a single thought. Sara had a little girl who appeared to be six years old with brown curls like Sara and blue eyes like Gil's.


	2. Chapter 2

SPOILERS: Shouldn't have any but would have to come after Season 6.

DISCLAIMERS: I stillown them and still wish I did.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, they really brightened up my day and everytime I got stuck, they helped get me going again. Thank you.

_Italicized words_ represent the translation of signs used in American Sign Language since ASL doesn't use the same grammar as spoken English. If its _Italized_ and in quotes than its someone speaking as they sign.

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Walking back from the bathroom Sara noticed Grissom and smiled. "Still eating pork huh Grissom?"

"Sara." He looked at the little girl, not sure how to proceed. How did you ask an employee why her phone was disconnected, her apartment vacant and who was thislittle girl?

She noticed his discomfort andgave him an understanding smile. "Grissom I'd like you to meet Amy. Amy this is Grissom." Sara signed it slowly and he realized she was still learning ASL.

_"Hi Amy."_

_Hi. You know my mom?_

_We work together. I'm her boss._ Turning to face Sara he was stunned, this was like something out of a movie. Did he fall through some hole and end up in an alternate reality. Since when did Sara have a daughter? He could believe the little girl was hers; Amy looked the way he imagined Sara had looked at that age. Her hair was long, curly and incredibly soft. She was thin and delicate looking. It was the eyes though that reminded him most of Sara. They were blue instead of brown, but there was that samehint of sadness he occassionally caught in Sara's. In Amy'sblue eyes it waslike she had already seen the evils of the world. That she was surealready marked her the same way Sara was with a sadness, rage, vulnerability and strength thequalities that made Sara such a beautiful enigma. Over the years he'd found himself drawn to the softness and occassionally pushed away by the hardness in turns.

_You keep bad men away too?_

Grissom nodded and looked at the little girl who had gone from lightly holding Sara's hand to clutching her arm. Something was very wrong, but at the same time very familiar about what he saw, except the nagging feeling it wasn't quite right. Sara hugged the little girl tightly then signed. _You want to play?_

Amy nodded. Sara took two steps after the little girl, stopped and turned to face him. He noticed her sun glasses were holding her hair back off her face and she was smiling warmly. She looked more like the old Sara then she had in years. Her smile reminded him of the one she'd given him that first day she'd come to Vegas. "Hey Grissom did you want to join us?"

He told himself that he was following because as her supervisor he needed to know what was going on not because he felt pulled to join them, to maintain the connection with the woman and child. Dumping his tray and following the pair back out to the children's play yard. He kept telling himself over and over again that this was work related not personal while trying to ignore how attractive Amy's mommy was, the way the dress swayed when she walked or how much the little girl looked like a child he and Sara could have created.

Sara chose the table closest to the building's wall that faced the cage of balls. Slipping the sunglasses back down to cover her eyes gave her at least the illusion of control in this conversation. Grissom was a good investigator he'd probably know what she was thinking and feeling based on her body responses even with her eyes covered.

"Sara what is she doing here and why is she calling you Mommy." It was only after he put his own sun glasses on that he realized what had been missingearlier. The last time he'd seen Amy clutching at Sara like that had been at a crime scene. A crime scene investigated at night. He'd finally recognized the little girl. She'd beenone of two children tosurvive. It had been one of those cases that stuck with every one involved. He remembered being concerned when he'd seen the assignment slip. Four DBs and two missing kids, possible domestic violence.

The whole team had been called in for the case. In the end they'd proved that the father in an intoxicated rage had attacked his family with an aluminum bat. The older teenage daughters had died before the mother grabbed a butcher knife killing him to protect the two youngest before she died from her own wounds. If Grissom closed his eyes he could remember the cast off streaks, blood trails and bloody foot prints in every room as the moving attack had followed the victims into every room in the house. It had been one of the worst cases of domestic violence he'd seen in twenty years.

He'd assigned Sara and Greg process the perimeter and back yard, while he and the other processed the interior. Sara had accepted the assignment without a word, though he'd seen the question in her eyes. They hadn't talked about it and he wondered if she'd seen the answer in the haunted eyes of the team. This had been a hard one, even for people without her history. After entering the inside of the house he'd been glad he'd kept them out of the house.

As he processed the scene he found himself wondering if the scene was similar to Sara's childhood. Had she walked through her father's blood? What had happened to the brother she'd mentioned once? Had it just been the four of them, or did Sara also have sisters at one time, but not since then? He'd tried pushing the questions away, but each time he saw one of the brunettevictims or the bloody evidence he wasremindedof Sara and the questions started again.

No one had realized how much they dreaded finding the bodies of the smallest Durham's until after Sara and Greg found the missing children. Greg had found the ten year old boy in the tree house, while Sara located Amy huddled under a table in a fetal position. He remembered that the little girl hadn't let go of Sara's arm holding on tight with both hands. It had been tight enough that Amy's knuckles had been white and Sara hadbruises for days afterward.

"It just sort of happened. I was at the hospital collecting evidence when Mr. Durham's parents arrived. I heard them tell the Social Worker they didn't want her. Her grandfather said her illness made her a freak, that she was an abomination, cursed by God because she's deaf. That he only wanted John Junior; because he was the normal one and they'd raise him to be a good man like his father. He didn't care what his son had done. Just decided to terminate their rights to her and dump her into the system without a second thought."

Sara was upset, trying to control the sadness and rage she felt. Grissom noticed and took her hand, entwining his fingers with hers in silent support.

"I just couldn't let that happen to her. The system is hard enough on hearing children, Grissom. The thought of the things that could happen to her because of her disability tore me apart. So I asked the Social Worker to talk to the Durham's about letting me adopt her. They didn't care, they were just happy that she'd be off their hands. The paperwork's been submitted and now we just have to wait for the adoption to be finalized."

"You're a single mom with a deaf daughter. Sara are you up to this?"

"What choice did I have Griss?

"Sara have you really thought about what this means to your life? Your career?"

She pulled her hand away from him and stood up. "You're the one who told me to get a life. You're the one who wanted me to get a diversion. Now that I have one outside law enforcement. When I find something that makes mehappy you have toquestion it. You can't have it both ways Grissom.Do you realize you are the most confusing person I've ever met."

Walking over to Amy shegently tapped the girl'sshoulder. _Time to go._

Amy nodded then ran over to Grissom. He was shocked when the little girl hugged him, but managed to hug her back. As Sara took her daughters hand and walked away from him. Glancing back once she noticed he was still sitting where they'd left him, onlyDr. Gil Grissom now seemed to be the dazed and confused member of their relationship. He probably didn't know what to do about this either.


	3. Chapter 3

RATING: T for future chapters just in case

SPOILERS: Shouldn't have any unless it's something that's aired so far in Season 6.

DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: You asked for it so here it is chapter 3. Thanks for all the positive reviews you guys keep me going and motivated me to keep adding.

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Sara closed the door on her new apartment, blowing hair out of her face. She felt bad about the way she'd left things and was tempted to reach for her cell phone and call Grissom and apologize for the way she'd acted. He hadn't been that critical; his questions were the same ones she asked herself in the quiet moments lying awake in the dark. It just hurt more that he didn't seem to believe in her more. It wasn't his fault she'd been hoping for more. She'd had a couple dreams about happy families. Dreams where her mind concocted fantasy images of Grissom, Amy and her creating a family and living happily ever after.

Who was she kidding? What did she know about happiness, let alone happily ever after? Her parents must have been happy once, when Sara was very small child, but she had no memories of it. Only memories of violence, pain and finally her mother killing her father. The county had shipped her off to foster homes to live with strangers who had problems of their own. She'd been lucky most weren't bad homes, just places to stay, but they weren't her family. As an adult she'd spent most of her time working. So really what did Sara Sidle know about homes, kids, and families?

Stepping away from the door and her cell phone she knew from experience the downward spiral those thoughts would take. Grabbing her laptop, she curled up in the corner of the couch watching Amy while waiting for the internet to boot up. Amy was sitting at her feet in front of the coffee table working on the jigsaw puzzle they'd started last night.

From the research Sara had done since agreeing to take Amy, adopting a child was difficult in the best of circumstances. Theirs was not the best of circumstances and Sara worried about the little girl. Sara wanted Amy to cope with her family's death and background of domestic violence better than Sara had as a child. Not that Sara had done much better with it as an adult before the DUI forced her into PEAP. So they went to counseling together and separately. Sara felt like they were making progress, though it was hard seeing the similarities between their childhoods. She loved the little girl and wanted her to always be safe, happy and healthy.

Both their fathers had made it clear that there was safety in silence. So the Counselor was working on getting them to speak more. Amy hadn't been born deaf so she could speak, but the Counselor explained she just wasn't ready too. Once she felt safe enough she would, until then they had to be patient. The only time Sara heard the little girl make sounds was at night. When Amy's nightmares were the worst and all Sara could do was hug the child and hope that was enough. It was those times that Sara felt the most helpless and unsuited for motherhood.

Opening up her instant messaging profile Sara was grateful for the supportive community she'd found online. People who understood the decisions that terrified the new mother. Friends who helped her figure out how to be a parent and reminded she wasn't alone and doing the best that she could. Sara was still learning how to be a parent, but was finding that talking with Amy, getting her opinion and then deciding as a family made the day to day easier.

It was making the parenting decisions about Amy's medical condition that she found difficult. Sara had done research and spoken to the Doctor who assured her that surgery might repair the damage from Otosclerosis, but there were risks and it was those risks that scared the hell out of her. If she made the wrong decision Amy's life would never be the same. Amy would probably lose her hearing forever. Sara needed to make a decision, because it was just a matter of time until the bone growth took away the rest of Amy's hearing.

Scanning her buddy list, Sara smiled when she got the instant message from MamaG.

MamaG: U r on early everything ok?

Sara liked MamaG she was one of the first people she'd connected with in the Otoscherosis Support chat room after getting Amy's diagnosis. MamaG had the same condition, though too advanced for surgery, and she'd raised a son who had it too. Since that initial conversation a friendship had been formed and Sara talked to the senior citizen nearly every day.

Sara always felt better afterwards though was often surprised by much she revealed to someone who was basically a stranger. Except that after talking with the older woman about her hopes and fears, Sara didn't really think of her as a stranger. She didn't know quite how to define the relationship. MamaG would ask the hard questions, make suggestions and give advice. Sara liked it because it was almost like having a mother of her own again.

LVVeggie: Took Amy out for breakfast. Ran into my boss

MamaG: Oh? Good/bad?

LVVeggie:not sure guess mostly surprised maybe a little mad cuz I didn't tell him about her or moving.

MamaG:y not?

Sara stared at the blinking cursor wondering how much to reveal. In the last five years she hadn't told a soul how she felt about Grissom, until she started chatting with MamaG. It was odd how this woman in Southern California knew about Sara, her past, present and desires for the future than the people she worked with. She'd had to almost quit for Grissom to realize she was a vegetarian. Brass had been the only one to even guess she was using alcohol to mask her pain. Though Greg knew exactly how she took her coffee.

LVVeggie:my relationship with BM is complicated. I want more than just work, he's said he's not sure what to do about 'this' then a while back I heard him tell someone he couldn't take the risk

MamaG:sounds like he's scared

LVVeggie:I know. He's worried about taking a risk & losing his career, I came here for him, ignoring risk to my career & wasn't even sure he was interested

MamaG:does he know that?

LVVeggie:yes & no, I told him I came to LV for him, haven't told him rest seemed petty after he promoted someone else over me

MamaG:I bet he had his reasons

LVVeggie:I'm sure he did, doesn't make it hurt any less

MamaG:did Amy like him?

LVVeggie:yes he signs

MamaG:you should ask him for help, spend time away from work

LVVeggie:idk

MamaG:who's not taking the risk now? U need to let the people u love into ur life hun.

LVVeggie:I know ur right

MamaG:I hate to rush off but I gotta go, u'll be on later right?

LVVeggie:Aren't I always :D

MamaG:Good cuz I'm not done yet. ttyl honey

LVVeggie:bye

Sara wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone else so she turned the computer off, setting it down on the floor. Amy noticed and climbed into her lap. Cuddling the little girl, Sara thought about what MamaG had said, she was right of course Sara needed help and Grissom was an obvious choice. Glancing at the clock she knew it was too early to call his cell, he was probably sleeping after shift, but she could leave a message later on. She felt better and knew MamaG would be pleased that she had a course of action.

Tapping Amy's shoulder so the girl pulled away a little. Sara signed "_Time for our show?" _

Amy grinned getting up to turn on the television and start the video. Unlike her old family Sara wanted her there. It was nice to be loved and wanted. She just wished they were a real family with a mommy and a daddy. The man mommy worked with was nice she thought, he'd make a good daddy too.

Sitting side by side they watched the video a couple of times practicing each new sign they learned. Then Sara help her fix lunch peanut butter sandwiches and fruit. Amy didn't even mind when she had to go lie down to take a nap. No one in her new home yelled, hit or ignored her. Lying down on her bed she cuddled the teddy she'd gotten from Mommy that first night after the bad things happened. The night her old Mommy went to be with the angels. Happy that she'd kept her promise after all so Amy was somewhere safe, loved and protected.

While Amy was napping Sara grabbed her cell phone and called Grissom's cell, not surprised that he didn't answer it. "Hey Grissom its Sara. Gimme a call later so I can give you my new home phone number and address. I was hoping maybe we could talk some more tonight. I was thinking of dropping by the lab so everyone can meet Amy, but if you wanted to get dinner before shift. Well call me. Bye."

Turning on the laptop again, Sara connected to the net, opened her email and sent a quick letter to MamaG

Taking your advice finally, taking Amy to work to meet the gang. Asked BM if we can talk, maybe over dinner tonight so I may not be on til late. If I don't ttyl, I'll tell you tomorrow how it went.

Sara read it again, then pushed send and turned the computer off. Stretching out on the couch Sara thought about BM wondering how the Bug Man would respond to her call. Yawning and pulling the afghan off the back of the couch she decided if they were going to go into the lab tonight then taking a little nap wouldn't hurt her either. Closing her eyes as she started to fall asleep she was a little surprised that sleeping was coming so easily and wondered if the days of Sara Sidle the insomniac and workaholic were over.


	4. Chapter 4

RATING: T for future chapters just in case

SPOILERS: Shouldn't have any unless it's something that's aired so far in Season 6.

DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: You asked for it so here it is more Grissom confusion and dinner at the Sidle house. MamaG will be back in future chapters. Any more requests? Thanks for all the positive reviews you guys keep me going and motivated me to keep adding.

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Checking his messages Grissom noticed Sara had called and left a message while he'd been asleep. Leaning against his kitchen counter sipping a glass of orange juice he thought about her. She'd probably be shocked by how often his thoughts were focused on her. Unlike the rest of the team she was an enigma. She was a puzzle he had wanted to solve since meeting her nearly a decade ago. He understood the others, the way they thought and felt, but Sara kept managing to surprise him.

After her revelation of her traumatic childhood he felt like he understood her better. That knowledge was making him a better supervisor and he thought they were making strides to return to that easy companionable relationship they'd had in the beginning. Then she went and threw in another variable by adopting Amy and he felt like he was seeing a whole new puzzle. He found himself back to where he'd started when Sara arrived in Las Vegas. "I have so many unanswered whys."

He was dumbfounded that Sara was adopting the girl she'd found at a murder scene, it was surreal, but he wasn't really surprised. Over the years she'd proven over and over again how compassionate she was by getting overly involved with cases and victims. Washing the empty glass out before putting it the dishwasher he smiled for all the pain she'd endured and witness, Sara still had a loving nature.

Moving around the silent townhouse he spotted the picture of his mother and considered the life Sara had chosen for herself. His mother had never gotten remarried because not everyone wanted to take on the problems of a deaf single mother. He doubted it would be any easier for a single mother with a deaf child.

Part of him wanted to call Catherine or his mother to share his thoughts and ask their advice. Grissom wasn't sure what to do about Sara as her supervisor or someone who cared about her. He didn't call Catherine because that would be invading Sara's privacy. If she wanted Catherine's help she'd ask, but he suspected he'd see flying porcine first. It was only since Sara's suspension that he really looked at the team's dynamics. That he realized that Catherine had never really taken to Sara, some of the cold suspension was gone, but there were layers of mistrust and pain on both sides that Grissom didn't know how to fix.

They were both intelligent, warm, funny women and who each in their own way knew him better than anyone else and he wanted them to be friends. He wanted his friends to get along, but it was hard to just think of Sara as his friend because if he was honest with himself he hadn't really been her friend since he'd called her to work the IA investigation.

Looking back at the last few years he realized he'd been there for everyone, but Sara. She'd been forced her to deal with her demons alone because avoiding her had been more comfortable for him. He'd ignored her pain, her feelings and the attraction because he didn't know what to do. His life was uncomplicated he had work, bugs and his reputation and for a long time that had been enough.

Sara deserved better from him as a supervisor and even more from her friend. He promised himself he'd work harder on becoming her friend in the coming days. He'd managed to have a friendship with Catherine, help her with Lindsey and Eddie while being her supervisor. Why couldn't he manage that for Sara?

He thought about her message as he picked up the phone to dial her number he'd accept her invitation and have dinner with a friend/employee and her daughter, after all he'd done it with Catherine often enough.

Sara took a deep calming breath, savoring the scent she'd inhaled and smiling at him. Grissom stood so close she could feel his body heat radiating off him in waves. The attraction that always there on the surface arched between them and her skin tingled even though he hadn't touched her yet. All he'd done was look at her and her breath was uneven.

Of course it was, that look, it was the predatory gleam in his blue eyes combined with that mischievous smile. She liked to think of them as the special smile and look he had just for her. They were the ones she loved to see. Ones that only she could put there, at least that's what she told herself it. The look and smile were still familiar even though she hadn't seen either in a while. "Were you serious?" He asked, her smile widened at the husky notes.

"Oh yeah Dr. Grissom tie me up, pin me down, the choice is yours." His answer was muffled by the ringing of her cell phone. Waking up from the dream Sara cursed softly under her breath as she scrambled to answer it. Noticing the caller id label she answered sleepily. "Hey."

Grissom loved Sara's voice, but sleepy Sara was too much for coherent thought. "Hi." He listened to her breathing for a moment before managing to control his thoughts. "So how's seven-thirty."

Sara smiled, "Sounds great I'll cook if you bring the garlic bread."

"Sure sounds good, so I'll see you then." He was about to hang up when her voice saying his name stopped him.

"Grissom."

"Yah?"

"It might help if you had my address." She rattled off her address and cross streets. Standing in his living room, Grissom was surprised; her new place was only a few blocks from his own.

"Right so I'll see you at seven-thirty."

"See you then." Sara was wide awake when she ended the phone call. Grissom had just agreed to dinner. She was confused, but happy as she headed into the kitchen. She had just about two hours to get everything ready. Surveying her pantry she decided on spaghetti and meatballs. The frozen meatballs would satisfy the carnivore pair, allowing her to avoid them altogether.

By seven o'clock dinner was basically ready to go. She'd cook the pasta just before they ate, while everything else was in the oven warming. Amy had taken a bath and was dressed in one of her new outfits. Sara had to admit the little girl had a sense of style. She was wearing a corn blue dress that had just enough ruffles and lace to be girly that she paired with white canvas shoes and white socks with more ruffles and lace.

"_You're beautiful_." Sara signed when Amy joined her. Sara had looked through her closet twice and not found anything she wanted to wear. Most of it wasn't appropriate on one side she had the pants and shirts she thought of as work clothes while on the other it was clothes she rarely wore date clothes, her suits for work and the light pink gown she'd worn as a bridesmaid before coming to Las Vegas. This wasn't really a date, but it wasn't really work either and she was stumped about what to wear.

"_What should I wear?"_ She asked hoping her little fashionista would help her. Amy looked thoughtful as she pawed through the closet before grabbing a skirt and blouse. The skirt was a gauzy thing with a paisley print in south western colors, while the blouse was the same coral in the skirt. Amy pulled out a pair of sandals before heading towards Sara's jewelry box. To complete the outfit she'd chosen turquoise studs and a turquoise and silver inlaid butterfly necklace.

After getting dressed Sara took in the over all effect, she was surprised at how good she looked and decided to let Amy pick out her clothes in the future.

_Mommy beautiful_

_Thank you._ Sara hugged the little girl and stood as the door bell rang. Damn that man she thought Gil Grissom was early.

Opening the door she'd expected the Grissom she saw every day at the office, but she'd been pleasantly surprised. He was wearing a casual black suit over a black button up shirt she hadn't seen in a while. He'd brought the garlic bread and a bottle of non-alcoholic wine explaining he had to work later. Sara smiled at his thoughtfulness, excusing herself to the kitchen and asking Amy to give him the tour of the apartment.

She felt him enter the kitchen, instead of heard him. "Could you let Amy know dinner is almost ready and she needs to wash her hands."

"Done and done. We wanted to be ready for the fabulous dinner we smelled. Can I give you a hand?" He was enjoying standing outside her kitchen watching her cook. It was the kind of domestic activity he'd never really associated with her. The fact that it allowed him to watch her move in such a lovely outfit was something he wasn't ready to admit.

"I'd like that." She smiled at him and pointed her head towards the stove as she carried a pot to the sink. "The bread, meatballs and veggies are ready." Sara finished straining the pasta, dumping it into a bowl. Smiling at Griss when he returned, his fingers brushing hers as he took the bowl of pasta. She grabbed the spaghetti sauce before following him out.

"Meatballs Sara?" Grissom raised an eyebrow, given her reaction to the meat experiment he hadn't expected her to cook meat.

"They were precooked all I had to do was reheat them." She explained, she didn't like meat anymore, but she wasn't going to force everyone else to give it up for her. "The sauce is from a jar Grissom, all I had to do was heat it up." Sara dished out the spaghetti, sauce and green beans onto Amy's plate.

"_Amy you want meatballs?"_ She nodded and he moved a couple onto her plate. He caught Sara's grateful smile as she took her seat at the table next to Grissom. This was nice he thought as he held the bread plate out to Amy who snagged a piece, before he handed it to Sara.

Dinner was quiet except for the signs that passed between Amy and Grissom. Sara only caught part of the conversation, but she didn't mind. She was enjoying watching them as Grissom told a joke or just 'listened' to Amy. The last couple weeks must have been hard on the little girl, unable to truly communicate most of the time. Biting her lip Sara thought about MamaG's advice and wondered if Grissom would be willing to tutor her in ASL. She didn't dare hope he'd been willing to do more than that about 'this.'

Grissom's own thoughts had turned to his own childhood, dinner had reminded him of his mother and growing up in a silent home. Would the silence make Sara more withdrawn then she was he wondered when he realized she hadn't said a word during the meal. Shaking his head he decided that as her friend he'd make sure she kept talking with more than her hands.


	5. Chapter 5

RATING: T for future chapters just in case

SPOILERS: Shouldn't have any unless it's something that's aired so far in Season 6.

DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: You asked for it so here it is the next chapter. Thanks for all the positive reviews you guys are great. Thanks for keeping me motivated.

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Grissom stood to help Sara clear the table. "Dinner was terrific, thanks for inviting me." Amy had been excused quite a while ago to go play in her room.

"Thank you for coming. You are the first guest we've had over. I'm glad you enjoyed it I thought it would be easier to talk here than at some restaurant." She stacked the plates and cups, grabbed a couple of the other dishes and carried them into the kitchen. Grissom grabbed the ones she'd missed.

"You did that like a pro."

"Growing up in a B&B I learned how to wait tables pretty early on." Sara had set the dirty plates by the sink, setting the leftovers down on the counter she grabbed plastic containers and lunch bags. "Did you want to take the leftovers for lunch?" Sara had already dumped the pasta and sauce into a plastic container. She just wanted his answer before dumping the meatballs on it or packaging them separately.

"You don't have to do that I can pick something up."

"I know." Sara dumped the meatballs on top then sealed the container. "I don't have any more green beans. How does a green salad sound?"

"Sara you don't have to do this."

She smiled at him, "Maybe I want too." Turning back to dig in the refrigerator. "Ranch or Italian dressing? Italian would fit better with the rest of the meal." Grabbing the bottle, she stood up and closed the door with her hip. Grabbing another container for the salad. "Dinner at the Diner doesn't make for a healthy lifestyle Grissom." She packed the containers into a bag and shoved it into the fridge. "Tonight at least you'll get a good meal. You can return the containers when I get back to work."

Grissom was leaning against the counter trying to decide if he was more amused or surprised by Sara's behavior. He was used to Catherine and his mother telling him how to live his life, he'd come to expect it. Sara's tactics were different, she didn't nag she just acted. It was refreshing and part of him liked having someone worry about what he was eating.

Suddenly he was reminded him of the pig experiment when she'd brought sandwiches, coffee and blankets out to him. Then stayed and helped him with the experiment. Sara was truly amazing she hadn't had an easy life. She'd been hurt and badly treated, yet she still found love and compassion to share. She was as brave and loving as she was beautiful, he thought. Realizing for perhaps the first time that she really was yin to his yang because she was able to risk the hurts for the possibility of getting what she wanted.

"Thanks." Sara looked up from the dishwasher and smiled. She had been doing that more since getting Amy. He'd seen more smiles today then he had in the previous month. "You should do that more often."

"What?" She asked as she dried her hands on the hand towel, taking a final look around the clean kitchen before hanging it back over the oven handle.

"Smile."

Sara filed the compliment away to enjoy more in private. "You want more of the wine or coffee?"

"Coffee I think since I'm working tonight." She nodded turning on the coffee machine and corking the bottle. "We can finish the bottle on another night."

Sara was glad she was facing the cabinets pulling out a pair of mugs, so he couldn't see how shocked she was. Sara wanted to pinch herself this was surreal. Grissom suggesting a repeat performance. "That would be nice. I'd really like that."

After the cups were filled they carried their coffee back into the living room. Sara settled into the corner of the couch while Grissom took the chair nearby.

"I'm amazed that you're adopting her."

"Why Grissom? I'm thirty-five, there's no man on the horizon, and my biological clock is ticking down. She may be my only shot at motherhood." Sara sipped her coffee to hide her embarrassment; she hadn't meant to be quite so frank with him, but those had been some of the reasons she reminded herself. She didn't meet his eyes, afraid of what she might find there.

"She's the victim of a crime scene you processed Sara."

"You think I don't know that. I get to remember how scared she was every time she has a nightmare. I may not have seen what happened in that house, but I saw the haunted look you all got when you talked about the case? I know better than most people the hell she lived through."

"Sara it's just I'm concerned."

"I know, sometimes I wonder what the hell I was thinking, but then Amy smiles or something and its all worth it. Then I know that this is the right thing for both of us."

Grissom nodded he'd seen the changes in her. She was more like the Sara he'd met at the Seminar all those years ago. "Well you both seem really happy."

"Thanks Grissom, that means a lot to me."

"So you're thinking of taking her into the lab."

Grissom's cell phone rang interrupting her. "Grissom. Yes. I see. Okay I'll be in as soon as I can. Can you call the others in? Good. No I'll check with Sara. Thanks Cath. See you soon."

Sara set her mug on the table and waited for him to explain the side of the conversation she hadn't heard, knowing it was probably bad if they were calling Grissom in this early.

"We've got a 419 at the Sands and one at the Hilton at some convention, a bus crash on the Strip and a decomp in the desert. They're calling everybody in and Catherine was hoping I could get you to come in too, but I'll understand if you can't."

Sara looked at Grissom, "Let me see if I can get a sitter first." Walking over to her phone she leaned against the wall and pushed the couple of buttons to dial the number from memory. "Hey. I was wondering if you could come over and watch the munchkin for me? No it's for work. Thanks Mom." Grissom blinked Sara had called her Mom? When did that happen? He was left with more whys and no time to get the answers. "She'll be over in a few minutes. I'll start getting Amy ready for bed, then change and be at the lab as soon as I can. Okay?"

He nodded still trying to process the idea that Sara was willing to let her mother a convicted murderer watch Amy. Grissom trusted Sara, but was worried about it based on the little he knew about her mother.

Amy came into the front room and his thoughts centered on her. She looked like an angel in her white nightgown. Crawling into his chair she handed him the book. _Want story._

"_You want me to read you a bedtime story?"_ Amy nodded. She smiled and he was again reminded of how much she looked like Sara. He was surprised when she hugged him, throwing her two little arms around his neck and kissing his cheek. He was also unprepared for his feelings at her physical display. Feelings that made it the most natural thing in the world to hug her back and place a kiss in her soft brown hair.

Sara had watched from a distance unsure what to expect, but ready to pick up the pieces of the little girl's shattered heart if necessary. She'd gotten good at picking up the pieces Grissom left behind. Releasing the breath she'd been holding waiting for his reaction, she was surprised that he was hugging Amy back.

"What about work Griss?" Sara was prepared to tell Amy she couldn't have story time.

"The dead can wait while I tell her a story. _Ok."_ He signed.

_In my room._ Amy insisted taking Grissom by the hand dragging him down the hall. Sara moved quickly in the opposite direction to her bedroom, she'd need to change into work clothes. She needed to get some distance from Grissom or he'd break her heart all over again because this warm, kind and caring Grissom was making her fall even harder for her boss. She'd been happy and shocked when he put her little girl ahead of work.

Grissom read the book, signed it out for Amy. _Good night moon. Good night Amy._

_I wish we could do this every night. _Amy sighed and Grissom felt those tugs on his heart again. What would it be like if Sara and Amy were his? If this was the nightly routine. Dinner as a family, then bedtime stories for Amy and long talks with Sara until they left for the lab. He kissed her head one last time before leaving the room. Standing at the door, turning out the light he reminded himself that Sara was his employee and fantasying about things that couldn't be had gotten them no where.

Grissom was sitting on the couch waiting for Sara when a woman with graying dark hair and sad but determined grey eyes let herself in. He noticed that along with the wrinkles around her eyes she still bore the scars of a physically abusive relationship. Her nose and other facial bones had been broken repeatedly, but she was still attractive. Terry had once told him that woman age like their mother's after age twenty five and looking at her mother he could imagine what Sara would look like in twenty or thirty years.

Sara walked out of her room dressed in black jeans and a plain orange tee. "Mom this is Gil Grissom, Grissom this is my mother Laura."

"It's nice to meet you Dr. Grissom."

"And you." He shook her hand and tried to guess how old she was and figured she was probably ten to fifteen years older than he was.

"Hey Griss can you grab lunch out of the fridge?" He left the room but could hear Sara talking to her mother. "Okay so you've got our numbers. Call me first, but if you can't reach me call Grissom he'll know where I am. Thanks again for coming on such short notice, but Alex doesn't move in til next week."

Grissom's grip on the bag tightened as he wondered who this Alex person was and what did he mean to Sara Sidle and Amy?


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them.

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"So that was your mom?"

"Yah. Not what you were expecting?" Sara didn't look up at him as she turned the house key in the lock.

"Not exactly, it's just I thought, well I didn't think you were in touch." They walked side by side down to the cars. He'd been able to park in the visitor spot next to hers.

"We weren't. Then during my PEAP sessions I got a letter from her. She'd been paroled and asked if she could see me. The Counselor thought it would be a chance to finally deal with the past."

"Paul Boese said 'Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."

She couldn't quite look him in the eye, but nodded looking down at the keys in her hand as she rested against her vehicle. "So then she moved to Vegas and we've been trying to get to know each other, but it's complicated. In some ways she's more like a stranger than my mom." Sara fiddled with her keys. "It's weird you know she told me I could call her Laura if that was more comfortable for me, but I just couldn't do it. Even after all this time she's still my Mom."

Grissom wished he was comfortable with her like the guys on the team. Nick would have given her a bear hug. Warrick would have said something sweet. Greg would have teased a smile back on her face. Gil couldn't do any of those things so he did the one thing he'd done in the past. He reached out and gripped her fingers in his own.

She looked up and smiled a little. "We're not close, yet and maybe we never will be, but we're taking it one day at a time." Unlocking her SUV she climbed into the driver's seat. "So I'll see you at work Grissom."

He got into his SUV while she pulled out of her parking space. Turning on the engine he followed her vehicle to the lab. He was thinking about what she'd revealed. He'd noticed the changes in her since the PEAP sessions; she was calmer, more content than she had been.

Grissom was rethinking his position on Sara's past behavior. It was only now with another puzzle piece that he saw Sara's emotional involvement with the victims and her passionate advocacy for them was from another point of view. Maybe Sara had been fighting for the victim's so hard, because she'd been helpless to save her mother. It was only now that her mother was safe and returned to her that Sara could move beyond her difficult childhood. He wasn't sure that it was entirely true, but liked how right it felt the way the theory fit the evidence. He turned off his ignition after parking in his space, getting out of the car.

Now that that was settled in his mind he turned his attention to the other puzzle that had been bothering him since leaving her house. Who was Alex and why was he moving in? Grissom wanted to ask her, but at the same time was afraid. He didn't think he could handle learning he was too late. That another man was in her life. Jealousy still tightened his stomach just thinking about seeing her with Hank Pettigrew. He felt the familiar green monster stirring at the thought of her and another man.

Which made him wonder was he too late? At dinner it hadn't felt like it, but now he questioned each smile and action. Grabbing the lunch Sara had packed for him, he tried to firmly push those thoughts aside. The weight of the bag and its gentle crackle was comforting as he walked into the Lab. The evening receptionist handed him the assignment slips as he made his way down the familiar corridors to his office. He was considering who should go to which call when he heard the familiar tap on the door frame.

She must have stopped at the locker room first because she didn't have either her purse or jacket with her. "Hey, you think I can be outta here by four. I forgot to tell you Mom's gotta be at the bakery by five and she can't take Amy with her."

"Sure, just check in with me before you leave." He returned her friendly smile and she tried to ignore the happy flip-flop of her heart. Looking back at the slips he began to rethink assignments. He'd been planning on having Sara handle the decomp, because she seemed to be the least affected by those cases, but decided against it. She needed to get home and Amy didn't need her Mommy to smell like death when she got home.

The barest hint of jasmine and tapping of heels was his only warning when Catherine entered his office and took the chair opposite his desk. Unlike Sara, Catherine didn't feel the need to necessarily knock on his door before entering. She crossed her legs, raising an appreciative eyebrow and he tried not to blush. "You look very nice."

"Thank you. So do you."

"What's the occasion?"

"Dinner with a friend and her daughter."

"A lady friend other than myself?"

"Yes if you must know."

"Good for you. So how was it?"

"Nice until a certain person called and asked me to come in early. She was pretty understanding when I had to cut the evening short."

"Sorry."

He shrugged. "I did get Sara to agree to come in, but has to leave by four."

"Wow Sara taking time off and not staying late, that has to be one of the first signs of the end of the world."

Grissom brushed away the comment. He'd known her long enough that he was used to Catherine's acerbic statements and frank manner. Much as he liked to talk to her, he couldn't explain to her about Sara because it wasn't his secret to share. "So I was thinking I'd take the decomp. Give Nick and Greg the convention, you the Sands, and the bus crash to Warrick and Sara. We can figure out how to handle any other calls if they come in."

"Sounds good. So where did you go?" She asked noticing the lunch sack on his desk. The brown bag was imprinted with the name of the Deli that Sara often went to.

"She cooked dinner at her house. I brought the non-alcoholic wine and garlic bread. Happy?"

"Thrilled. Gil I'm really glad you're finally getting your head out of the microscope. So when you going to tell me all about this woman?"

"Wasn't planning on doing it anytime soon."

She smiled over her shoulder at him as she left his office. "Just don't let Sara know, she doesn't handle you dating other women very well."

Grissom gave a silent groan, all the relaxation he'd experienced at Sara's was slowly slipping away like air from a slow tire leak. Taking off his glasses he rubbed the bridge of his nose, it was going to be a long night. Catherine wouldn't be content with only speculating on his dinner companion, she would continue to hint, poke and prod until she'd gotten every last detail out of him. That was the worst part of working with trained investigators it took so damn much energy to keep private things private.

The rest of the team was gathered when he arrived in the break room, tossing the lunch bag into the fridge he grabbed a cup of coffee. The assignment slips were in his pocket, but he wanted a few moments to enjoy his coffee and his work family. He smiled as the thought came unbidden, Catherine had been right at some point a family had formed around him.

"So Sar when's Alex moving in?" The silence at Nick's question was deafening. Everyone in the lab seemed to have stopped what they were doing and were starring at them or specifically Sara and Nick. Grissom was glad he'd swallowed before the Texan had said anything.

"Next week. So I should be back to my normal schedule by Monday night."

"Who's Alex?" Greg asked and Grissom could have hugged the newest CSI for asking the question everyone wanted answered.

"A friend of Nick's who'll be staying with me for a while." Sara sipped her own coffee as if she hadn't just revealed a fact that everyone else found shocking. They all knew Sara was almost as private as Grissom. She never spoke about her family, never invited people over to her place and rarely spoke about anything that wasn't work related.

"So Nick where'd you meet this Alex." Greg asked, suspecting Nick would be more talkative than Ms. Sidle.

"We grew up together. Alex is a student at the college."

"And you're letting some guy move in on our Sara, some friend you are Nick?"

Sara laughed at Greg's saucy wink. Nick barely managed to swallow his water.

"You know Sara I'd pay good money to see Alex make a move on you." Sara hit Nick in the shoulder.

"Alex is definitely more your type than mine Greg. Alex is short for Alejandra."

Grissom had watched the interaction silently, holding his coffee cup and waiting, hoping to glean more information. Nearly sighing at loud that this Alex was a woman.

"So you're getting a roommate?" Catherine asked in a very surprised voice.

"Not really, Alex will be working as my nanny?" Sara looked at Nick, he was confused and hurt she hadn't told him.

"You're pregnant?" Nick's eyes flashed up to Grissom seeking an ally.

"No. I'm adopting a little girl. The one from the Durham case."

Sara wasn't really surprised by the team's reaction. She'd known based on Grissom's reaction they would be shocked and worried. Looking at each face she saw that none of them were really pleased with the news.

Grissom smiled at her quickly as he stood, she wondered if he knew that it was just what she needed to feel better.

"Okay assignment time." The others left the room leaving only Sara and Grissom in the break room. "Sara their just shocked like I was, but once they see how happy you are together they'll come around. You'll see."

Sara wondered down the hall it was nearly four and she needed to check in with Grissom before she left. Leaning in the doorway she waited for him to look up from the paperwork. "Hey."

"You heading out?"

"Yah." She yawned, a few days with Amy in the house she wasn't used to staying up all night any more.

"I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to finish our conversation."

"We could if you come over after work and join me and the munchkin for breakfast?"

He blinked, this was the second invitation she'd given to join a family meal in twenty-four hours. "I'd like that."

"Just give me a call before you leave okay?"

"Sure you need me to bring any thing?"

"Just your smile." She had already turned and was walking down the hallway before he could decide if she'd really said that or not.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was a tough chapter to right so just bear with me more will be coming soon. In future chapters we'll see more of the team to get their reactions and MamaG will be back. I had a hard time with Catherine in this chapter sinceI'm not quite sure where exactly she stands on the whole GSR. Let me know what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Still belong to someone else. Sigh

AN: As always thanks for the reviews you are my motivation to continue

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Sara opened her front door, smiling at the smells coming from her kitchen. The combination of good coffee and caramel apple muffins transporting her back to her early childhood when the good days outnumbered the bad. Obviously her mother was awake and already baking she thought hanging up her jacket and setting her purse down. Her stomach rumbled a little in hunger so she headed for the kitchen it had been a long night and. During the lunch break Grissom had handed her the green salad and some of the garlic bread, while he heated up the pasta. She smiled at the memory as she entered the kitchen.

Laura Sidle was sitting at the bar sipping a cup of coffee with a muffin on a plate in front of her. Sara grabbed her own cup of coffee and muffin then leaned against the opposite kitchen counter.

"Hey how was she?"

"Good. She woke up once about midnight looking for you, but settled right down again."

"Thanks for staying I really appreciate it."

"I was happy to do it Sara. So that was THE Dr. Grissom." Sara just nodded. "Well I'm glad I got the chance to meet him. Since he means so much to you."

"I never said that."

"You didn't have too. Sara you were always a quiet and private child. The only way I knew what was going on with you was to observe. Like how the person you liked most was the one you talked about the least. Its one of those things about you that probably hasn't changed. He's the only man you work with that haven't said much about."

"Grissom is very private so there isn't much to say."

"Hmm. Still waters run deep baby girl. Well I got to go. Talk to you later." Laura put her dirty dishes in the sink and gave Sara's arm a quick squeeze. They weren't close enough for hugs or kisses or yet, but Laura was just grateful to have some part in her daughter's life.

"Later." The door clicked close and Sara was alone with her thoughts. Nibbling on the muffin, Sara debated whether the use of her childhood pet name had been on purpose or accidental. Deciding in the end it was probably not something to worry about. She had plenty of other concerns to focus on.

Grabbing the muffin and coffee she decided to not bother heading to bed, Amy would be up soon enough. Besides it gave her a chance to mentally prepare for what would be a long and draining day. That was following a long and eventful day. Curling up on the couch she watched the sky lightening through the living room windows. Just twenty-four hours ago only her mother, Alex and a handful of strangers had known about Amy.

She'd told Grissom and the team about Amy. Carly her counselor would be pleased about that. She'd been hounding Sara for months to let them know what was going on in her life. Pointing out that Sara couldn't handle her past and present without a system of support. 'No man is an island.' Had been a common quote in their sessions, but she hadn't known how to break a lifetime of habits.

She felt good about opening up to Grissom and her friends about her present. Sara had been avoiding opening up about anything for so long. She kept hoping that enough time would sort out her feelings about her mother, her daughter and a boss who meant more to her than a boss should. Nothing was settled, but for once she didn't mind not having all the answers. Instead she was just enjoying the peace and solitude of the moment and watching the sun rise on the Vegas horizon.

The shift was over. He set aside the last of the paperwork and walked down the halls to the locker room. The sudden silence at his arrival hinted that the team had stopped their conversation suddenly at his entrance. Glancing at each team member in turn and ending with Catherine he saw a wide range of emotions. He opened his own locker and waited. It was a proven interrogation technique. He didn't have to wait long.

Catherine spoke, her voice was tight with emotion, he thought it might be disappointment, but wasn't sure. "Grissom you didn't seem very surprised when Sara made her little announcement." He met her eyes first noticing how cool they were. Then he looked around the locker room at the team trying to gauge their feelings.

"I was just as surprised as you all were when she told me yesterday morning, but you should see them together. They are both really, really happy. If we hadn't gotten called in, Sara was gonna bring Amy by so she could meet all of you." He shut his locker, giving the dial a quick twist and left the room.

Grissom heard her following him down the hallway as he walked towards the exit. It was the quiet smack without the click of her heels that warned him she was running to catch up, so he slowed down allowing her to catch up. "You shouldn't run in those shoes." He pointed out quietly.

"Well I wouldn't have to run, if you'd have conversations like a regular person. Instead of just giving your two cents and then leaving before anyone else has a chance to reply."

He stopped and she skidded to a halt next to him. "is that what you think Catherine?"

"You've done it enough it's just something we're all used too. So when did Sara tell you."

"I saw her and Amy at McDonalds' yesterday when I went out for breakfast."

"And she was the lady friend you had dinner with yesterday." He didn't bother answering her rhetorical statement just shoved his hands in his pockets. "Ecklie's gonna have a field day with this."

"Why should he, it's none of his business."

"Don't be so naive. He's already worried about her being a loose cannon combined with Sara's history of getting overly involved in certain cases. Of course Ecklie's gonna make it his business. He'll want to protect the lab's reputation in court and in the media. Gil it's not normal to bring the cases home like that."

"The Durham's case is closed. Sara made a connection with that little girl Catherine of everyone here I thought you'd be the one to understand that."

"What I know is hard it is being a single mom."

"That's why Sara is going to need all the support we can give her. Just like we've always given you." Glancing at his watch he noticed the time. "Cath can we talk about this more another time. I've got some place I'm suppose to be." She nodded and part of him liked seeing Catherine Willows speechless. It wasn't something that happened very often. He chuckled softly as he reached his SUV at the sight of the red head's imitation of a fish with her mouth agape.

Dialing Sara's cell his smile changed when she answered. "Hey so we still on for breakfast?"

"It's all ready for when you get here. I'll see ya when you get here." Sara clicked off the phone, mentally calculating how long it would take him to get here and decided she could grab a quick shower. Knowing that once Amy was up there was a good chance she wouldn't have time.

Sara was showered, dressed and holding a cup of coffee when he arrived on her doorstep. "Hmm that smells wonderful."

She laughed and shook her head sending the ponytail of wet hair bouncing. "I know how bad that stuff at work can get. Here." She handed him the mug.

"Hmm just the way I like it."

"I'm paid for my observation skills remember." As she walked away heading to the kitchen he used his own keen observation skills to take in the pink tank top and white shorts. He enjoyed the way the shorts emphasized her derriere, slender hips and long legs. "I didn't know you had a tattoo."

Sara smiled at him as she continued refilling her own cup of coffee. "I haven't told you all my secrets Dr. Grissom."

Grissom smiled surprised that Sara was bantering with him. It had been a long time since they had flirted, talked or been truly comfortable in each other's presence. He found himself enjoying it and unwinding after his long shift.

She carried a plate of muffins to the coffee table and he joined her on the couch. "You baked?"

"No Mom made these before she left."

"Hmm. This is good." He took another bite of the muffin enjoying the play of flavors the apples, spices and caramel with the coffee he was drinking.

Amy wandered out of her bedroom and smiled seeing the adults sitting on the couch quietly talking. She was glad he was back again. She climbed onto the couch giving Sara a quick hug and kiss before turning to Grissom.

Sara watched his eyes when Amy wrapped her small arms around his neck, squeezing tightly before pressing her lips to his cheek. She pulled back again and started signing. The speed of the signs flashing between the pair was too fast for Sara to catch the conversation. Giving a little pat to the girl's head, Sara walked back into the kitchen to get her a glass of milk.

"Amy was just asking if I'd like to go to the zoo with you today. I told her I'd have to check with you first."

Sara handed Amy the milk noticing at some point Grissom had set the plate in her lap and she had part of a muffin in her hand. "It's her treat after the doctor's appointment so it's up to you."

"Doctor's appointment? You take her to the zoo after a doctor's appointment?"

"Today I will, give her a happy memory…" Mentally adding just in case to the end of the sentence. Grissom noticed Sara slipping behind her 'I'm fine' façade and wondered what was going on.

_Amy you done eating. _She nodded her head and Grissom smiled. Time to go _get dressed._ She handed her plate and glass to him, which he set on the table before she slid off and ran back to her bedroom.

"What's going on Sara?"

The tear slipped out, damn she thought she had better control on her emotions than that. "I'm taking Amy to see a specialist. Today's the day when Dr. Roth's going to let us know if Amy's a candidate for surgery." Standing up she shoved her hands in the short pockets and stared out the window. "Today's the day I have to decide what Amy's future will be like. The decision I make today could make her hate me. I just don't know what to do about this."

It was with a strange sense of déjà vu that he put the pieces together. He hadn't known what to do that morning she'd asked him to dinner. That morning that he was calling his surgeon about his operation for his hearing. It must be those memories he thought that were clouding his analysis of the evidence.

"Sara please tell me what's wrong."

Amy has Otosclerosis, its…"

"I know what it is. It's a bone growth in the inner ear that results in hearing loss." He replied clinically, reciting a basic definition from memory, a condition he had known about for years. His mother had gone deaf from it during his childhood, he had had it only a few years ago and now Sara's little girl suffered with it. It was ironic he thought in a sudden flash he had avoided a possible relationship with her because he didn't want to burden her with his deafness, but now she'd chosen a child with the same condition.

"Of course you know what it is. You always said that we should become masters of everything. The thing is that besides the normal dangers from surgery, there's also the chance that if it doesn't work that Amy won't get a second chance at it. It could do irreversible harm to her hearing. " He caught her reflection in the window. "I'll love her whether she can hear or not, but I'm afraid that I'm going to make the wrong choice. That I'll ruin her life and then she'll hate me forever." Sara couldn't stop the tears as she shared another private secret and fear with Grissom. She didn't question how he got her to reveal what she kept hidden from everyone else.

Grissom understood her fears, but found it difficult to explain that while she was crying, instead he did what he would have done for Catherine. He crossed the intervening space and wrapped her in a hug of comfort and understanding. Later, he told himself, there'd be time to explain for now she just needed this.


	8. Chapter 8

SPOILERS: Shouldn't have any but would have to come after Season 6.

DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own either CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them. I wish I did, but I don't so I'm just borrowing them for a little recreation or re-creation depending on where Season 6 takes us.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you Thank you to everyone who has reviewed you are wonderful and this chapter is for you.

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Working side by side with Grissom over the years she was familiar with him in ways that were difficult to verbalize. Like there were certain smells, looks, places and things that were so utterly him that her body identified and reacted to them without conscious thought. So when he wrapped his arms around her, her body acted of its own volition. Acted before her brain even realized it or could rationalize what was happening. Her hands moved slowly around from his chest to rest on his back. It was a simple movement and just that easily she was returning the hug.

She smiled as the comfort he offered soothed her fears of the future. As the fear of seeped away she noticed it was replaced by another type of tension. The attraction still arched between them like live electrical wires. Her body reacted to the close contact. Did he notice the change in her breathing, the increase in her pulse, or how her eyes had darkened from chocolate to espresso? She was tempted to brush his cheek or check his pulse, to see if he was reacting to her, but didn't because in this moment that couldn't be what was most important.

Gil Grissom had reached out to her and it wasn't just a meeting of fingers. This was the kind of hug that Greg gave her, full of comfort and relaxation. Sara felt safe, protected, relaxed, delicate and feminine in his embrace as one hand rubbed her back and the other stroked her hair. She felt safe enough to cry to release the emotional burdens she'd been carrying alone.

Hours spent fantasying about what being held by him would be like hadn't really prepared her for the reality. She was delighted and concerned. She was used to him guiding her with a gentle hand, but this was a more intimate interaction than she was used to from him and the last thing she'd expected from Grissom was this. She knew he was a private person, not given to easily expressing his feelings verbally or physically.

So she memorized the feel of his body against hers, closing her eyes to pay closer attention to the details her body and senses were noticing. With her cheek resting on his chest, she could hear the study thump-thump of his heart beneath her ear. Each breath was like a physical assault as wave upon wave of Grissom's personal scent, that mixture of his soap, shampoo, and him that always sent her pulse racing overwhelmed her senses. The delightfully soft fabric of his polo shirt tempted her to touch more of him, to do more than rest her hands against the muscles of his back. To further explore his delightful, yet unexpected combination of softness and solid strength.

As much as she wanted to stay like this forever, she didn't want to make him uncomfortable. "Griss I'm getting your shirt all wet." She sniffed and tried to pull away, but his grip around her back kept them close.

"I don't care about my shirt." She lifted her eyes to his and thought she saw the unfinished thought, 'but I care about you' reflected there. Sara smiled back, but pulled out of his embrace.

"Her appointment's at eleven. If you still want to go to the zoo, you could meet us there after lunch. That would let you get a couple hours of sleep."

"Or I could go with you to the appointment?"

"You don't have too."

"That's what friends are for."

Tilting her head to get a better look at him she noticed the circles under his eyes. She considered what he said and how she could respond. He already knew she considered him more than just a boss. Once upon a time, she might have described their relationship as friendship. It would be nice to get that back. "How much sleep have you had?"

He took a minute to try and calculate it. He hadn't gotten enough sleep yesterday after seeing Amy he'd spent the first part of the day thinking about Sara and the little girl.

"Griss if it takes you that long to figure it out, then you haven't had enough. You need to sleep."

"You shouldn't have to go through this alone."

"That's one of the problems with being a single parent." She noticed Grissom's body language, it screamed louder than words that he was determined and would have his way. "It would be nice to have friend along for moral support, on one condition."

He raised a single eyebrow in a silent question, 'Oh?'

She smiled at him. "If you're determined to come along, you need to get some sleep, you shouldn't drive in that condition. So why don't you just rest here. At least you could get a couple hours of sleep before we go to the appointment."

Grissom was obviously hesitant, but Sara put her hand on his arm. "Come on. I'd feel better knowing you got some sleep." He knew from work that Sara could be very determined and focused on a task so he tipped his head forward in silent compliance, he wouldn't win this battle.

She guided him into her bedroom, deciding that it was the best choice since it would be quietest and darkest since it was furthest from Amy's and was already set up for the day time sleeper. It was a simple room, not overly feminine she thought as she tried to imagine what he was thinking when he saw it.

The room looked and smelled like Sara he thought. "The sheets are clean, there's a spare toothbrush in the bathroom." She was over talking again, but then having Grissom standing in her bedroom was a little nerve wracking. "These blinds should block out all the light and um just let me know if you need anything else. I'll um wake you up about thirty minutes before we need to leave. Is that enough time?"

"Hmm." His attention was centered on the wrought iron bed that was centered against the wall and he wondered how much sleep he'd manage knowing he was on her bed.

Sara closed the door to her bedroom, after making sure that Amy would stay in her room and play with her dolls, Sara pulled out her laptop so she could log on to the internet. Minutes later the instant messager window popped up.

MamaG:Good Morning! How'd it go?

LVVeggie:Dinner was good til we got called into work

MamaG:Oh no :-(

LVVeggie:He came over after shift for breakfast

MamaG:So how'd that go?

Sara stared at the blinking cursor and tried to decide how much to reveal. She just couldn't tell this nice senior citizen that her boss was sleeping in her bed. It was the sort of thing that would be misunderstood. Hell she didn't understand it what it meant exactly.

LVVeggie:Not sure, took your advice & he's coming to Amy's Dr's appt, then the zoo

MamaG:Sounds promising

LVVeggie: Not holding my breath he's had years to act it

The woman in Southern California sipping her cup of warm Earl Grey tea she looked at her own computer screen trying to imagine the woman she was talking too. She felt a connection to the younger woman that was hard to explain, perhaps her own experience as a single mother made her sympathetic to what she was going through. So each morning Mama G would log on looking forward to talking with LVVeggie. Their conversations ranged over so many topics like politics, art and science, but always returned to BM her boss and Amy. It was admirable taking on an abused child let alone one with Otoscherosis.

It wasn't the sort of burden most people would choose. The thought of playing matchmaker crossed her mind, she thought many of the qualities she'd discovered in Ms. LVVeggie were exactly what she'd want in a daughter-in-law. She doubted her son would appreciate her interfering in his love life or lack of one, but she was tempted.

MamaG:Sounds like he's acting on something, friendships a good place to start. So is this the appt?

LVVeggie:Yup Dr. gonna let us know if surgery even an option. I'm scared, what if I choose wrong?

MamaG:Do what's best for her and you won't.

LVVeggie:I'll try I'm just not used to making decisions for others

MamaG:Hun, you got a steep learning curve, most new moms get years to deal with this. You may have dived into the deep end of the ocean, but we're not gonna let you drown.

LVVeggie:tyvm I appreciate the advice

MamaG:I'm planning to visit my son for his birthday, maybe we can get together for coffee.

LVVeggie:I'd like that, just let me know when and I'll tell ya where

MamaG:Look at the time, I gotta fly, let me know how the appt & zoo turn out.

LVVeggie:Will do. Have a good day. Ttyl

MamaG:ttyl

Mama G had given her such simple advice, but it was just as comforting as Grissom's hug. Sara turned off the computer and closed her eyes remembering the hug and let her mind drift about a certain scientist sleeping in her room.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Alas not mine in any way, shape or form.

AN: Thank you all for your support and encouragement. Specific thank you's to my wonderful reviewers is located at the end.

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Grissom noticed that very little about Dr. Karen Roth's office had changed since he'd been here for his post surgery follow up appointment. Like the examine room the office was still decorated in muted south western colors. Soft music still piped in through recessed speakers and the chairs were still stiffly uncomfortable.

He'd been grateful for Karen's professionalism when Sara introduced him as her friend. The Doctor's eyebrow had lifted only a hair when she shook his hand, but she didn't say a word. Amy's examine had been thorough as she tested the girl's hearing to determine the extent of the damage to decide if Amy was a suitable candidate for surgery.

Sitting next to Sara he remembered his own experience of waiting alone for the physician to come in and give her final prognosis. Waiting to learn if it was too late and if the damage was permanent. It was odd how similar the situation was, but the hardest was watching Sara as her anxiety level grew with each passing moment.

It had made him feel a little uncomfortable as he stood next to an anxious Sara watching the doctor examine the little girl. Sara's tension had grown more palpable with each passing minute. Now that the examine was over and they were waiting she was having a harder and harder time sitting still. She jiggled her foot and tapped her hand against her knee. Watching the normally calm and controlled Sara Sidle display so much emotion was strange. He watched her, trying to decide what action to take.

At the house he'd hugged her because it was what he would have done for Catherine. Every action he was taking was based on his friendship with the other single mom. In true scientific method he was trying to apply known factors, actions and reactions to this situation. He wasn't fooling himself into believing it would be the same or that he could just ignore the attraction that made his relationship with Sara as different as the women themselves were from each other.

Mentally he imagined the same scenario, waiting in a doctor's office for a serious diagnosis and prognosis for Lindsey. Grissom reached out and placed his hand over hers in a friendly grip. He strove to be reassuring and friendly. "Sara relax and breathe." Her smile was fleeting as she accepted what he offered.

Grissom found himself debating whether to tell her that the reason he was familiar with Amy's condition was because he'd lived with it and that his mother was deaf because of it. Sharing even part of that information would reveal more about himself to her than he ever had before. Even harder part was that it meant revealing his secret to her. One he'd gone to great lengths to forget and pretend didn't exist.

It was one of the times in his life that he wished was different than it was.

Looking back on it he was embarrassed by his behavior, remembering the things he regretted doing and not doing. The worst part was admitting to someone else that his pride had endangered the team, lab and cases because he had allowed his emotions about his personal life to interfere with his professional ethic.

How many times had he spoken to her and the others about not letting emotions affect the job? Yet, hypocritically he'd done it himself, but his failure was worse because it wasn't for just one case, one shift. He'd allowed it to continue for months, ignoring the problem and developing coping skills so he could pretend everything was normal. Telling her would mean facing her judgment and condemnation.

It felt like in the last twenty-four hours they had made more progress reclaiming their friendship and connection then in the previous twenty-four months. He knew that he had built the walls and obstacles between them. That his fear of being discovered, pitied and coddled had made him push everyone away. Damaging his relationships with his team, the people he cherished most, for years.

Slowly and carefully over the last few years he'd managed to build bridges and repair most of them. To connect with his team outside work, to know them on a personal level. The only exception was Sara, at least until recently. The little girl with the dark curls and blue eyes was their bridge.

Amy had changed everything. Her condition gave them a connection outside of work. It was because of the little girl that they'd shared two meals where they talked about more than work. Sara had opened up, shared her fear with him and in that way Amy was the reason he'd held Sara this morning. She was the reason he was here waiting for the prognosis and why he'd go to the zoo with them later.

Grissom was concerned that his lie by omission would damn him and destroy what had taken so long to rebuild. Catherine had told him years ago that he had to tell her something revealing after she'd revealed something to him. Sara had trusted him with her past, her pain and her fears, but he'd never revealed anything. Looking at his hand resting on top of hers, was it unreasonable to trust her with a bit of his own past, pain and fear.

"Sara Dr. Roth is the best."

Sara was confused, "What?"

He swallowed this wasn't going to be easy. He'd only told two people about his hearing and the surgery his mother and Catherine, but only because it had been necessary. Catherine needed to know because of work and his mother just in case. "I was a patient of Dr. Roth's. She performed the operations to treat my Otosclerosis."

"What? When?" He watched the emotions flicker in her eyes one following the other. Surprise, confusion, puzzlement and just a little anger. He could see the moment when she figured it out the answer to her second question. "When you took that vacation after the lab exploded." She voiced quietly. He waited for her to pull back, to judge him harshly or lash out in anger. "You went through it all alone didn't you?"

She watched his face, knowing that it must have been difficult for him to share that with her. The admission made sense of certain pieces of information she'd collected over the years. It also explained why he'd been uncharacteristically adamant about coming to the appointment with her. It just proved the rule, people were capable of everything.

He nodded his head in answer to her question, but didn't look her in the eye. He kept his focus on her hand beneath his, a little disappointed when it moved. "Griss? I wished you told us, but I think I understand why you didn't. Thank you for telling me now."

She watched his eyes closely noticing the shift as the wall was raised and he pulled back again. When she flipped her own hand so that her palm was face up so that their palms touched. She loved how his eyebrow lifted and his eyes darkened a touch as the subtle movement changed the comfort he'd been giving her into something else. She didn't want to name it or define it, but she definitely liked it.

The door opened and Dr. Roth entered. "Amy's with my receptionist Nancy in the other room. Well I have good news. Amy is a good candidate for Stapedectomies in both ears. The procedure is very safe. She'll be under general anesthesia when I make a small incision near the ear drum. The prosthesis is gently inserted and a piece of tissue taken from a small incision behind the ear lobe is used seal it. In 90 of the cases patients get most or all of their hearing back."

Sara nodded as she listened to the doctor calmly explain the procedure. "This is the same procedure you did on Grissom?"

"Yes." He squeezed her hand just a bit. "And it should be just as successful for Amy."

"So when do you want to schedule this?"

"Well I have an opening on," Dr. Roth flipped open her calendar. "Monday morning." Sara nodded and the doctor made a notation. "Good. Nancy will give you all the details. If everything goes well, you'll bring Amy in for her follow up a week later and I'll be able to confirm that her hearing has returned to normal." Sara nodded again as the doctor dismissed them letting her capable receptionist handle the details.

Sara answered the receptionist's questions and tried to focus on the information she was being given, but her attention kept straying to Amy who was signing rapidly at Grissom who responded back. She'd never known Grissom to show so much expression, but Sara had seen the wall and wondered how long the change would last.

The doctor had tried to give her hope about the surgery. Sara didn't want to pin her hopes on the future, on the things that could happen tomorrow or never. Years working as a CSI had taught her that the only time you had was today. Today she was spending the day with Grissom and Amy. She'd worry about the future later, for now she'd enjoy an afternoon at the zoo.

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AN: Thanks for the encouragement, your kind words keep me smiling and writing even when the story seems to be stalled.

Adenara Yatman, aruora.grissom, Charmed-angel4, Cherrydrops12, Christiangirl, Denese25, eac-dudette, fredchester, greglover14, GSBS4L, hpchic90, insanebutsound, KickassScot, lamcsi, Lanta, Lily of the Shadow, LinZ, Nicole101, phelipa, red lighting, shania1277, and Smartbraty2

Charmed-angel4 & Denese25: Yes you're right about MamaG, but the reasons for it will remain a mystery until later chapters, there will be more twists and turns I promise.

Cherrydrops12: I copy and pasted the condition from a medical website, so I'm depending on it for the correct spelling and info about condition and treatment. Also the chat was supposed to be LVVeggie: thank you very much I appreciate the advice. Hope this is clearer. Thanks for the review.


	10. Chapter 10

DISCLAIMERS: I stillown them and still wish I did.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, they really brightened up my day and everytime I got stuck, they helped get me going again. Thank you.

_Italicized words_ represent the translation of signs used in American Sign Language since ASL doesn't use the same grammar as spoken English. If it is _Italized_ and in quotes than its someone speaking as they sign.

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Grissom put his palm on the small of her back guiding her from the office to the SUV while gripping Amy's tiny hand in his. The strength and warmth of his touch spread a tingling comforting through her. There was something incredibly sweet about him helping buckle Amy into her car seat, taking her car keys and then walking her around to the passenger's side. After making sure Sara was also buckled in he got in on the driver's side.

He started the vehicle, but they were all silent on the drive to the zoo. Amy was in the back playing with her Leap Frog, Griss was focused on the road, so Sara rested her forehead against the cool glass of the passenger side window and tried to marshal her thoughts and feelings.

She told herself it had just felt easier to let Grissom take charge, then try and muster the energy to make any more decisions, but that wasn't the whole truth. She liked that he was showing a protective concern for her and her child it was a delightful change from the cold professional she worked with.

Sara ignored the feminist side that reminded her that she shouldn't like that he had taken charge. That she was a capable woman and it was insensitive for him to just be doing things without asking. The romantic side was hoping it would last, that maybe he'd decided he also deserved a life outside the lab and would act on the physical attraction.

Her heart did little flip-flops at the thought and tears misted her eyes. So she closed her eyes, she released a deep breath and was surprised at how easily the tension seemed to seep away just from knowing Grissom was there and would take care of her and Amy.

Independent and self-reliant more by circumstance than nature, she'd learned as a small child not to trust or depend on anyone but herself. Only since coming to Las Vegas had she finally found people to count on, to trust and love. She wasn't exactly sure how Grissom had managed to wiggle through walls that had kept the rest of the world at a distance, but he'd done it and gained a deeper level of trust and feeling than anyone else ever had. The chink he'd opened in her walls had let the others in. That thought used to scare her, but it didn't any more, something else that had changed since Vegas and Amy.

Motherhood was something Sara hadn't planned for, because she never expected to become attached to the child like this. She just always figured she wasn't the mothering type. That she wasn't good with kids, but Amy had proved her wrong. At first she'd tried to rationalize her feelings. After more than ten years as a CSI she knew that she got attached and emotionally involved with cases and victims. Except with Amy it was more than just empathizing with the trauma which was in many ways similar to her own.

Her obsession this time hadn't been the case or getting justice for the victims because the ultimate justice had already been served. Instead she'd found her mind turning to what would happen to Amy and her brother. She'd started to obsess about the kids. Wondering if they had any family or if they'd be turned over to Child Services. So when the chance came up for her to take Amy, she'd taken it. Making the decision without analyzing it, just following her heart and acting on instinct. Her connection to the little girl had been unexpected almost like love at first sight.

There were aspects of Amy's past that frustrated and scared Sara. Amy's original family had hurt her for years. They'd let her condition deteriorate until she was nearly deaf and faced a lifetime of irreversible hearing loss. Sara wasn't sure where that ranked compared to the other terrible things they'd done to such a sweet, beautiful little girl, but it was one of the things she planned to make better.

She loved Amy and the idea of someone or something hurting her was physically painful. So as the Doctors and Psychologists exposed each new emotional and physical wound Sara vowed to help Amy over them. Some how slaying each of the monsters that haunted the nightmares and repairing the emotional and physical damage Which is why she'd gone to Dr. Roth who was supposed to be one of the best in her field. The appointment had gone better than Sara had expected. Since the initial diagnosis she'd been preparing for the worst, but the prognosis was better then she had hoped. Not that it mattered to her whether the little girl could hear or not. Sara just needed to know she'd tried to do what was best for Amy and maybe undo some of the damage.

Grissom was reflected in the cool glass and she smiled. It was his revelation that had given her more peace of mind than anything that Dr. Roth said. It had surprised her to learn about his hearing loss and successful surgery, but it hadn't shocked her. Maybe on some level she'd seen all the evidence pointing towards his hearing problems. Looking back she wondered if she'd subconsciously made adjustments to help him cope. Maybe that was why she had been able to make the changes to accommodate Amy's disability so easily. Either way Sara was grateful that Dr. Roth had saved his hearing, that he was here and that the surgeon hoped to do the same for her little girl.

The events in the doctor's office had left her emotionally exhausted, but Sara felt safe relinquishing control to him, allowing herself to drift into a light sleep. Grissom turned off the ignition. He glanced at Amy in the rear view mirror, smiling at the sight of her dark head bent over a hand held video game. Sara had assured him it was more educational than the games the boys they worked with played. Glancing at the other brunette who was still leaning against the window, he noticed her deep breathing and hated to wake her up, but he knew she wouldn't break her promise to Amy no matter how tired she was.

Since Amy was occupied he took the time to let Sara sleep, she looked better than she had in ages. The dark purple circles under her eyes, the disturbing paleness and the perpetual frown that had become so familiar were gone. He could tell she was exhausted, wondering how she slept now. She'd insisted he take a nap after work, but had she taken her own advice? Amy was just visible in his peripheral vision. Knowing Sara's focus and dedication he doubted Sara had. Amy finished her game.

The small hand touched his shoulder as he turned to face her.

Time to go? She asked.

"Sara we're here." Silently he wanted to add the endearment Honey, but stopped himself as he shook her awake.

She breathed in, released the breath on a sigh and turned to face him. He thought he knew what Sara looked like waking from sleep based on his experiences at the lab. Watching this Sara wake up was a different experience altogether. "Already?" She stretched a little and smiled. He watched stunned as it reached her eyes, so they sparkled and danced. "Are you ready for this Dr. Grissom?"

"It can't be that bad."

She laughed softly. "Have you been here before?"

"I came with Catherine and Lindsey once, but that was years ago. I've heard they've added a couple new species since then, but hadn't checked it out." He pushed the button and released his seatbelt. "How about you guys?"

"It's one of Amy's favorite places so we're here a couple times a week. It's gotten so bad the birds and the goats recognize her and come running to get the feed." They both got out of the SUV, he unbuckled Amy's booster car set and helped the little girl out. Amy took his hand, then reached out and took Sara's so she walked between the adults leading them toward the entrance.

Sitting at the picnic table, sipping from a bottled water he found it hard to believe that this little 3 acre park was just 6 miles off the Strip. It seemed so much farther away from their life than that. The normal sounds he associated with Las Vegas were distant and he was enjoying the peace and serenity. Sara had distracted Amy with the task of feeding the park's birds giving him a breather and a chance to enjoy his surroundings. Grissom began to understand why Sara had insisted on a nap and why she'd asked him if he was ready for this. Within minutes of getting in the gate of the Southern Nevada Zoological and Botanical Park Amy was off and running. The park felt a dozen times its size now that Amy had dragged them around to her favorite exhibits multiple times. She'd been fascinated by the Canadian river otters, Mowar the Chinese tiger, the brother and sister lions Midas and MG.

Going to the zoo with Amy and Sara was completely different from his experience with Catherine and Lindsey. For one thing the entire time Amy was signing to him in a rush of flying hands and fingers. She had a voracious mind and now that she had someone with a greater gasp of sign language she was asking questions with a speed that was amazing. It was obvious she adored Sara, but had missed being able to really communicate.

At each exhibit she asked him to read the signs telling her about the animals. The little girl's enthusiasm rubbed off on Grissom and he found himself searching his memory for any tidbit of information he'd ever heard, read or seen about the animals. It was mentally and physically exhausting.

"Where'd you learn so much about lions, Griss?"

"Discovery Channel and Animal Planet."

"I should have known." Her laugh following him as he and Amy moved to the next exhibit.

The memory made him smile. This was the best day he'd had in a long time. He'd surprised himself in the doctor's office by telling Sara about his hearing. Over the years he'd justified not telling Sara and the team because he thought he knew how they'd respond. Her acceptance wasn't what he had expected. Watching as Amy and Sara walked back to him he considered what other areas he was making incorrect assumptions about how Sara would act or react.

"Hey Grissom I think since we've gone through the park at least twice and seen Amy's favorite exhibits probably twice that many times. We should grab some lunch, then head home, so you can get some more sleep before shift."

He nodded as he watched her sign "_Amy time to eat."_

Amy's face lit up and she signed back looking at Grissom. Sara smiled as she recognized the three signs. They were ones she'd seen a lot since staking her claim on the child. It was what Amy also asked for after visiting the 'zoo.' The first was for hamburger, followed quickly by the sign for chocolate shake and for the last one Amy shaped one hand into the letter 'f' and made the dipping action that was the sign for French fries.

"_She wants a hamburger, French fries and chocolate shake._"

Sara nodded, "I know it's what she always asks for. The Counselor thinks they might be her comfort foods."

"Must be hard." He observed remembering her reaction to the meat bullet experiment. Amy held their hands as they headed for the entrance.

"What makes you think that?"

"I remember your reaction to a certain experiment."

"That's different Grissom." She stopped walking. Amy let go of her hand so it took Grissom a couple of steps to realize what was happening. Then turned around to face her. "I was frustrated and felt disrespected because you and Catherine were shutting me out again. Do you know how frustrating it is to be assigned to a case and not be allowed to work it? If I'd known that it wasn't going to get any better I would have left. Do you know how many times in the last five years you've pulled me off cases, kept me out of the loop, or assigned me tasks that were menial? Things normally assigned to trainees, but I did them and never complained that you never switched the duties up, you kept me on the outside while the others got to be primaries or go solo. I'm the best perimeter person in the state of Nevada because that's all you'd let me do."

Amy ran back to Sara and hugged her tightly. _Don't fight_. She signed to Grissom. Sara breathed deeply and smiled at Amy to let her know everything was fine.

"I didn't know." Grissom was stunned. He knew that wasn't enough, but couldn't come up with a response.

Sara shrugged a little as she and Amy closed the distance. "I know. So are we getting lunch at the diner or a fast food place?"

"Diner?" He asked noticing that Amy didn't take his hand again, she blamed him for making Sara upset. Grissom wondered if anyone else thought he treated Sara badly at work. No one had said anything and that bothered him. Did that mean they knew it was unintentional or think it was acceptable? If that kind of behavior was accepted as part of having him as their supervisor it had him asking who else he'd hurt while keeping his head buried in the microscope.


	11. Chapter 11

DISCLAIMERS: I stillown them and still wish I did.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter is dedicated to the wonderful and patient readers who so patiently helped us through the fiasco and chaos of the last chapter. I felt so bad about it that I worked extra hard to get this chapter out faster. Thank you for your reviews and I hope you continue to enjoy.

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The SUV pulled up into Sara's parking space, but none of the occupants moved, each waiting for another to make the first move. Lunch had been a quiet affair, neither Grissom or Sara knowing how to get back to the easy camaraderie they had shared earlier. Amy had noticed the change between them and became abnormally still and clingy. She sat next to Sara, but the entire time she kept her large blue eyes focused on Grissom, watching his every move. Amy's intense scrutiny made Sara feel even worse for her supervisor.

He'd been her friend today and she'd crossed the line at the zoo and knew it. Obviously the strain of not sleeping and worrying about Amy had taken more of a toll than she'd realized. The need to apologize to him was strong, but she wasn't sure how to start or what to say to repair the damage she'd done. Grissom parked the car and turned the ignition off, but still sat looking straight ahead. Watching him from the corner of her eye she kept hoping that would give her a clue on what he was thinking or feeling.

"So you still planning on bringing Amy into work?"

Turning in her seat to look at the little girl Sara smiled at the sight. Amy had her chin tucked on her chest, arms flung to either side. She was sound asleep in the back seat. Turning to face Grissom, she studied his face the professional mask he wore at work was back as if they hadn't made any progress at all. "No I don't think so. It's been a long day for her, for us. I was thinking it might be better if we just met the team in the morning and maybe have breakfast at the diner. What do you think?"

"Sure I can ask the team when I pass out assignments."

"That would be great. So you'll give me a call tonight to let me know." He nodded, before moving his head so their gazes locked his deep blue versus her rich brown.

"Sara, I really am sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

"I know that Grissom." She paused for a moment, "Do you really think a plant would have kept me here if I hadn't known that?"

"I guess not. I just wished you'd said something sooner."

"What would have been the point Griss." Sara kept her tone quiet and calm. "We saw each other every day, but you didn't see me. We never talked about anything other than work, the cases and evidence. In the last few years its taken something seriously wrong like nearly loosing my job for us to have any kind of personal conversation." Sara took a breath to steady her emotions. It still made her sad because she missed the Grissom she'd known before coming to Las Vegas. "It's gotten better though; the whole team can see how hard you're trying to connect with us." Sara busied herself with unhooking her seat belt. Opening the door she climbed out and looked up at him. Unsure what kind of reaction to expect from him after this latest round of over talking.

"No one expects you to change Grissom, we just want you to stop pushing us away. Maybe even let us get to know Gil and not just Gruesome Grissom." She smiled and tucked her hair behind her ears. "I'm glad I didn't leave, that I told you about my parents and that you made me work the perimeter with Greg. I mean I wouldn't have Amy if it wasn't for you." Clearing her throat, as she shifted her purse and checked the time on her watch. "Hey it's getting late. You should head home and catch some more sleep before heading in tonight." She walked around the back of the vehicle to grab Amy from the back.

"Let me at least carry her up." He'd gotten out of the car and stood so close Sara could see the flecks of silver in his blue eyes. She held out her hand for her keys. The tips of his fingers brushing her palm as he handed them over. Sara focused on Amy trying to ignore the tingly awareness from the brief contact with him.

"Thanks Grissom, but I've got it under control and you've got a long night ahead of you." She scooped Amy up from the seat. Shifting in her sleep, Amy buried her head in the crook of Sara's neck. He shut the car door and watched Sara and Amy walk away. Stopping she turned and called out "Call me tonight when you get a chance or if something comes up otherwise we'll see you after shift at the diner."

Grissom went home, but had known before he entered his townhouse that he wouldn't be able to sleep. His mind kept turning over what Sara had said at the zoo and in the SUV. He felt the beginnings so grabbing some clean clothes he headed for the master bathroom. Twisting the shower knobs until steaming hot water sprayed down. Stepping under it he letting the hot water spray beat into his body to release the tension he felt.

Catherine had warned him years ago to see what was there before Sara was gone for good. To get his head out of the microscope. It was that advice that had prompted his call to the florist. It was what had prompted him to go to her apartment and demand an answer from her when she had been suspended. It was that same advice along with Nick's kidnapping that had him making amends and building bridges. It would be harder with Sara than the others, but not for the reasons he'd first thought.

When had things gotten so screwed up? He wanted to pin point a case, an event or a conversation, to have a single wrong that he could right that would straighten everything out. Her suspension? Her DUI? Eddie's murder? Nick's promotion? No, things had been bad long before then. The more he looked back on the last few years the more he realized that there hadn't been a single event that had made everything go wrong.

It was more like they'd gotten off track and instead of fixing it. Each subsequent choice had just made things worse. Everything she'd said had been the honest truth. The concept that he'd been lying to himself for years, should have been what upset him most, but it wasn't. Stepping out of the shower and getting dressed he began sifting through his memories like evidence.

As he scrutinized his memory of the last half dozen years he saw that Sara had been generous. She hadn't pointed out that he'd treated her differently than the others. That he'd tried to protect her by assigning her cases that wouldn't upset her and by having her work with partners to keep her safe. A less forgiving person might have pointed out that she had been forced to watch silently as he accepted the mistakes and foibles of the others while he held her to a higher standard. Warrick was a recovering gambler, but Grissom sent him solo to cases in Casinos. Nick had slept with a hooker and been accused of her murder, yet was still promoted ahead of Sara. Catherine had blown up the lab and used the lab for personal reasons, but still was given the swing shift supervisor position. Grissom knew his own history wasn't flawless either. He'd ignored his hearing, had a relationship with Lady Heather and then there was the whole Debbie Marlin case.

He'd told Conrad that the problems with Sara were his fault as her supervisor. Stepping out of the hot shower he admitted to himself that those problems were directly related to his non-professional feelings for Sara. It was only now that he saw the full scope of how he'd treated her team that he saw a deeper truth. Sara was right it was time to stop pushing the team away. More importantly he admitted to himself it was time to stop pushing her away because he wanted to be more than just her friend and boss. His first step would be to keep doing what he'd been doing for the last couple days spending time with Sara and Amy. The little girl gave him the perfect excuse to spend more time with them outside the lab. Who better to help Sara with Amy's post-op recovery than someone who'd been through it? He still wasn't sure what to do about it, but having decided to do something he felt immensely better. "Alright Ms. Sidle. Let's see what happens."


	12. Chapter 12

SPOILERS: Should only be minor ones for anything that's happened inSeason 6.

DISCLAIMERS: I still don't own them and still wish I did.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, they really brightened up my day and everytime I got stuck, they helped get me going again. I've already started on the next chapter so more will be coming. Thank you.

_Italicized words_ represent the translation of signs used in American Sign Language since ASL doesn't use the same grammar as spoken English. If its _Italized_ and in quotes than its someone speaking as they sign

* * *

"Look its Sara." Greg pointed out the window as Sara's SUV pulled into the diner's parking lot. The team watched as Sara exited the driver's side, walked around the vehicle, undid Amy's safety seat and helped her out of the SUV. "And look she has a Mini Me."

The resemblance between the pair was made more obvious by the similar outfits they were wearing. Faded blue jeans, white tennis shoes and colored t-shirts. Amy was wearing a bright sapphire blue shirt that brought out the blue of her eyes, while Sara looked relaxed in her tie-dyed shirt in blues and greens.

From his left he heard Catherine's stunned sharp intake of breath, "God Gil she looks like Sara, but with your eyes. Is there something you forgot to tell us about you two?"

He ignored his friend's insinuation and kept his attention on the pair as they walked in. Amy carried her video game in one hand, while gripping Sara's hand with the other. "_Hi Amy."_

Amy's smile was huge when she spotted Grissom. She dropped Sara's hand and ran over to him. Sara followed a little slower, she had wanted to get to the Diner before shift ended, so that she and Amy would already be in a booth when the team arrived, but it didn't work that way. Life with Amy had taught her one thing things didn't go as planned when a child was involved.

Amy set her game on the table, freeing both hands so she could scramble into the booth and sit on Grissom's lap. Once there she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. Sara smiled as she noticed the shock and surprise on her co-workers faces. Grissom's reputation as anti-social and emotionally distant was well known and often well deserved, but after spending time with him over the last couple days she knew it was a misperception.

She realized now that the reality was Gil Grissom was a private person, maybe even a little shy who found it easier to communicate his thoughts and feelings with people in silence using signs. It hadn't taken long for him to get comfortable with Amy. At the zoo he'd held her hand, picked her up and carried her. Looking at the little girl hugging her boss, she realized he had captured Amy's heart as easily as he'd captured hers.

Each step brought her closer to the team already seated in two booths. Catherine, Grissom and Brass at one, while Greg, Warrick and Nick filled the other. Catherine was the least surprised, but Sara noticed the others were each taking the shock of Grissom being affectionate and accepting affection from Amy in different ways. Not knowing what to say to the team she opted for teasing Grissom.

_Do I sit at the kids or adults table?_ Sara signed silently watching as Grissom tried not to laugh. "Hi guys. This is Amy. _Amy these are the people I work with. Brass, Catherine, Nick, Warrick and Greg."_

Amy waved, but didn't move off Grissom's lap. _Hi._ She signed making the pair of letters quickly with her free hand. She was staring at Greg, her grip on Grissom's shirt tightened. When Sara slid into the booth across from Grissom, Amy's grip suddenly loosened as she scampered down and back up into Sara's lap. Grissom became concerned when he noticed Amy was hugging Sara so tightly that she couldn't breathe.

Gil tapped Amy's shoulder; she loosened her hold on Sara enough to turn to watch Grissom's hands. _"What's wrong?" _

_I remember him. Is he taking me back to the mean Daddy?_

"She remembers Greg from the scene." Grissom wasn't sure how to respond to the suddenly tearful child so he translated in case Sara didn't recognize any of the signs.

Sara nodded rubbing gentle circles on Amy's back waiting for the little girl to calm down enough to talk. "The Counselor warned me this could happen. That's why I waited so long to introduce her to you. She needed to know she was safe with me first."

The whole team watched as Sara comforted the child. Until with a final deep shuddering breath Amy stopped crying and looked at Sara who held out her left hand, her fingers making what look liked the 'okay' symbol. Then Amy's small hand mirrored Sara's and together they moved their hands. Gil recognized the symbol, surprised when together the pair made the sign for family.

"_O.K.?" _Sara asked as she finger spelled the two letters. Amy nodded. Sara pushed Amy's hair back and kissed her forehead._ "Let's go._" Sara slid out of the booth. "Order me a cup of tea and a glass of milk for her? We'll be right back after we freshen up a little bit." Sara didn't wait for confirmation; she just carried Amy down the hall to the bathroom.

Grissom smiled watching as they walked away, before signaling the waitress and placing Sara's order. The waitress also brought him a booster seat.

"Five bucks says she's making the kid eat vegetarian too."

Grissom watched as the team placed bets, but kept his silence. Since mentioning Amy and the invitation to breakfast the team had made various speculations about Sara's mothering techniques. He'd decided to avoid the inevitable questions if he pointed out that he had the answers.

"There all better now that we've freshened up." Amy was smiling again, her slightly reddened eyes the only outward sign of her earlier distress. "Griss is it okay if Amy sits with you and I'll sit with the guys."

"Sure."

The waitress came back "So Dad are you ready to finish ordering now?"

Grissom heard Catherine choke on the water she was drinking, but he just ignored the comment. He also avoided meeting Sara's eyes. She was still standing at his table getting Amy settled into the booster seat next to Brass. Together the pair scanned the menu selections, then Amy put her finger on a picture of pancakes. Looking up at Sara her unspoken question written on her face. Nodding to Gil, Sara smiled and kissed Amy's brown hair while he answered.

"She'll have the pancakes."

"Short stack for the short stuff and for you Mom."

"Make that two, but can you put my bacon and sausage on a separate plate please."

"Sure thing, honey."

"Sara you aren't going to eat that bacon and sausage are you?" Greg asked as Sara slipped into the booth next to him.

"Of course not, but it will get eaten. Amy's an omnivore so whatever she doesn't eat here, I'll take home and she can eat them tomorrow."

"Pay up man." Nick grinned at the younger blonde.

"Oh Sara you disappoint me." Greg handed over the cash, while she watched amused as money was exchanged.

Sara lifted an eyebrow "What was the bet on Nicky?"

"If you'd make her be a vegetarian. I said no, but Greg well…"

"It seemed like such a sure thing."

She laughed and playfully slapped his arm, "Poor Greggo. I …" Whatever she'd been about to say was cut off when the waitress returned passing out the various orders.

When the plate of pork products was set in front of Sara, the guys found her expression priceless it was evident that she found the smell unappealing and was distressed to have to touch the plate, but she picked up the plate and set it down in front of Amy.

Sara signed something to the little girl that the others couldn't see, but they could see Amy nod her head in reply. Picking up a knife and fork they watched as their co-worker began cutting up the child's breakfast into bite sized squares. None of the adults sitting with her had even thought to do it and Amy was still following the rules of her old home.

Where children were expected to be seen and not heard, to be self reliant and not be a burden. Amy took her fork back in one hand using it to stab a sausage, while her other hand made the thank you sign. This was one of the things she loved about her new home. This mommy didn't get angry when Amy used sign language or needed help.

"Grissom can you remind her to make sure she eats something other just syrup and sausage?" She winked at him, knowing that the guys were watching them. As she slipped back into her seat she wondered 'How much had he shared about yesterday?'

"It must be hard having to learn sign language just to talk to her?"

"It would have been harder to just let her go Nick. Learning sign language was the easiest choice I've had to make. Besides I'm enjoying learning another language."

Grissom was half listening to the conversations around him, especially the one at the table behind him. Sara's relationship with the guys was different than his and he had learned a number of interesting things about her in the past, by just listening to the conversations of members of his team. Her comments had caused a stirring in his heart and mind. Even as he listened to Brass and Catherine discuss the stock market, his focus was on Sara what other hard choices she'd had to make and what other languages did she speak?

"So when you coming back to work?" Greg asked. Since becoming a CSI he'd been paired with Sara so often that it was weird to work a case with someone else. For most of the last decade he had seen her nearly every day and not seeing her was strange. The Sara Sidle sitting next to him was more like the woman he remembered from San Francisco and when she first arrived. Perhaps the days of sad Sara were finally over.

"Greg's having Sara withdrawals." Warrick teased with a wink.

"I miss the lab too, but it all depends on what happens with Amy's surgery on Monday. Since Alex doesn't sign I'd feel more comfortable waiting to leave Amy with her until I know that they can communicate. If it goes well Amy will start getting her hearing back and then I'll be back sometime the following week. If it doesn't…" Sara shrugged leaving the rest unsaid as she took a bite of pancake. She could sense the maybes and whatifs hovering just on the horizon of her consciousness threatening to overwhelm her. Catching sight of the back of Grissom's dark head bent towards Amy made her heart flip flop. Whatever the outcome she and her little girl would face it together when the time came as a family.

Sitting here surrounded by her work family she wondered if she and Amy were really alone. She wanted to believe that they weren't that the guys would be there. That Grissom would be there, just like he had yesterday and the day before and for the first time in a long time she allowed herself to think about having a tomorrow with Gil Grissom. That maybe just maybe they could have something more than a working relationship.

Catherine watched Grissom's interaction with the small deaf girl. He seemed really attached to Amy even after so short a time. Pushing her scrambled eggs around on her plate she found herself wondering if the instant connection was because of the sign language or because she was Sara's daughter. Privately she was concerned for Sara and the little girl. She'd managed to get Gil get his head out the microscope long enough to send Sara a plant to keep her from leaving, but since then the tension and distance between the pair had grown and still Grissom did nothing to start a possible romance.

Now Catherine just wished he had done more, but her pushing on Gil's private life had nearly cost her his friendship so she backed off and spent most of the last six years watching Sara get put through an emotional ringer as Grissom alternating pulled her close and pushed her away. Everyone in the lab was affected by their sexual tension. Over the years when she thought about Gil's relationship with Sara the one quote that came to mind again and again was to paraphrase Mother Goose, when it was good it was very good, but when it was bad it was horrid.

It had been hard to watch their dance, knowing that he was just piling more heartache on top of the one Catherine knew about Hank's two-timing, but she suspected there were others. Sara must have been treated badly and hurt repeatedly for her to so easily accept Hank's betrayal and Grissom's actions. When they'd gone for a beer Sara hadn't raged, cried or even spoken of Hank's involvement with Elaine the other woman, but merely accepted it and acted as if life just went on.

Glancing at the child, Catherine thought of her own daughter, then looked at Grissom and decided it was time to interfere in his personal life again. If Sara was just half as protective of Amy's welfare as Cath suspected than Gil would have to stop doing the indecisive dance or Sara would leave forever and even a whole nursery of living plants wouldn't get her to stay.

"I gotta go." She fished some money out of her wallet and left it on the table.

Grissom stood as Catherine slide out of the booth and was able to watch both women.

Catherine had turned so both tables could hear her. "Well I gotta go pick up Linds from her slumber party. Hey Sara if you need anything, even just another single mom who can sympathize gimme a call. Okay?"

Sara smiled, "Sure Catherine thank you." The offer had been a surprise because it was given in the friendliest voice Sara thought she'd ever heard Catherine use when speaking to her. They'd been at odds for so long that even a civil conversation was unexpected.

Sara's brown eyes had widened in surprise and Gil turned from her to Catherine noticing the tension in her stance as if she expected a confrontation even though the words had been friendly. He hadn't noticed any tension between them, but wondered what could be done to end it. It had probably been there for so long that both were used to it and he felt bad about that.

If he'd been a better supervisor he would have found a way to fix this when it first started. Of course if he had then Sara wouldn't have fought with Catherine, ended up on suspension and she wouldn't have told him about her mom. He decided he'd try to talk to both women and see if maybe they couldn't find a way to put this behind them for the good of the team, the lab and most importantly his friendships with them both.

"_I'll be right back." _Grissom walked out with Catherine. "Thanks for that. I know you had some reservations about Sara and Amy."

Catherine kept her face neutral, while smiling inside she still remembered how quickly and hotly he'd defended his loose canon to Eckley. She'd filed that piece of evidence away only pulling it out to playing Devil's Advocate about his relationship with Sara. Maybe she could play both sides against the middle and finally get the two of them together. .

She shrugged. "Its hard enough being a single mom with your own kid, but to choose to take that on with a little girl you found at a crime scene, especially a disabled one. I wonder if she's up to doing it all alone."

" She's not all alone." Grissom defended quietly as he turned to look into the diner. Watching him Catherine smiled smugly as she climbed into her vehicle and decided that with a little help from the guys on the team neither Sara nor Gil would have to be alone ever again.


	13. Chapter 13

SPOILERS: Shouldn't have any but would have to come after Season 6.

DISCLAIMERS: I still don't own them and still wish I did.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, they really brightened up my day and every time I got stuck, they helped get me going again. This is a short chapter, but I promise the next will be longer. Thank you.

_Italicized words_ represent the translation of signs used in American Sign Language since ASL doesn't use the same grammar as spoken English. If its _Italized_ and in quotes than its someone speaking as they sign

* * *

Grissom got back inside and noticed that Catherine's leaving was the beginning of a mass exodus of sorts as Nick, Warrick and Brass all left soon after. As the group got smaller they condensed down to one table. Sara smiled as she wondered what the waitress thought of them, the guys sitting on one side and the girls sitting on the other. Greg had gotten some paper and crayons from the waitress and was busily trying to win Amy over by coloring with her.

"So you guys have any plans for today?"

"Yes. A friend's flying in so we're gonna pick her up from the airport, take her to her hotel and then meet up with some friends of hers so Amy can have a play date while I get to spend time with adults who don't see dead bodies for a living."

"You'll be bored to tears." Greg teased without looking up from his coloring.

"It's like the meat Greg, I have to let Amy live her own life and not force her to change to fit mine."

"Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently. Confucius."

"I like that."

Greg looked like he was about to comment when his phone rang. After checking the number he mumbled a faint 'excuse me' as he slipped out of the booth dropping enough cash on the table to cover his section of the bill. Giving them a quick wave even as he began to open the phone to answer the call, he left the Diner.

"Before I forget Amy asked if you could come to dinner and read her a bedtime story again. She likes the way you do it better. She wanted me to call you last night and have you come over before work, but…"

"But?"

"I didn't want to intrude or get Amy used to having there all the time."

"Why?"

"I think you know why." Sara didn't want to argue, she'd already blurted out more about how she felt about him personally and professionally in the last 48 hours than she had in the previous 48 months. Not everything had been said. She'd avoided even hinting at the feelings that had lead her to come to Vegas or that had prompted her dinner invitation.

"I am trying."

"I know, but I have to think about Amy too."

He nodded and sipped his coffee tempted to try talking to her about 'this,' but the Diner wasn't where he wanted to discuss it and he felt like it wasn't time yet. "Fair enough. So Amy would like me over for dinner, what does her mom want?"

A dozen answers that were better left unsaid sprang to mind. She wanted him to hold her hand, to say she was beautiful again, to have his face be the first one she saw when she woke up and the last one she saw before falling into a deep restful sleep in his arms. She wanted the endless kisses that lead to something more and the happily ever after she dreamt of. None of these were things she could share with him though. So she said, "You want Asian or Mexican?"

"How about you surprise me?"

"Alright and you don't have to wait until 7 p.m. if you'd like to come earlier."

"Okay. How about I give you a call, before I head over?"

"I'd like that." Sara reached into her purse for her wallet to pay for breakfast.

"I've got it covered."

"Grissom." She began, but was stopped when he pulled out a couple of bills from his own wallet, dropping them on top of the others.

"Sara you made dinner the other night and you're making it tonight. If you let me treat you to breakfast it's the same as going dutch."

She couldn't fight his logic so she just agreed. "Alright." Tapping Amy's shoulder to get the girl's attention. "_Let's go."_

_Did you ask him to dinner?_

"_Yes."_

"_I'll see you later at dinner. I promise." _Amy smiled at Gil and handed him the picture she'd been working on. Three stick figures, a small purple one standing between a big blue one and a slightly smaller pink, standing on green grass surrounded by flowers and butterflies. _"Thank you. It's beautiful, you're a very good artist."_

_That's you,_ _me and Mommy at the park._ She pointed to the blue figure first. Followed quickly by the purple than the pink.

"_I love it."_

"_Great job Amy that's very beautiful. Maybe tomorrow we could eat lunch in the park?"_

_Yes, please!_

"_We'll see. Ok?" _Sara didn't want to make promises she couldn't keep.

_O.K._ Amy accepted the answer because Sara didn't say anything unless she meant it.

"You folks have a nice day." The waitress called out.

"You too and keep the change."

Watching the couple with the little girl walk to coordinating SUV's her lips were pursed. Normally when people said that, they were poor tippers, but as she began counting up the cash, it quickly became obvious they'd left her a really nice tip and she smiled as she watched them.

Grissom walked Sara to the car, watching as she buckled Amy into the car seat and then followed her around to the driver's seat. Making sure she was safely buckled in they spoke through the open window. "So I'll see you tonight."

"You want me to bring anything?"

"Nah just yourself. I've got everything else covered." He nodded as he headed towards his car. "Grissom." She called getting him to stop and turn away. "Sweet dreams."

"Thanks." He waved goodbye to Sara and Amy with his free hand, knowing that he would because he had Amy's picture, the memory of Sara's smile as she pulled out and the promise that he'd see them when he woke up.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Next chapter…. Sara's friend at the Airport and more from Mama G. 


	14. Chapter 14

AN: Not Beta'd so any errors, omissions or problems are all my fault.

Disclosure: Not mine

* * *

Waiting for the passengers to disembark from the flight, Sara tried not to look at her reasons for not telling Grissom the whole truth. Saying that she was meeting a friend instead of explaining that she was at the McCarran International Airport to meet a perfect stranger. Someone she'd never, but who she chatted with over the internet on a daily basis. Grissom would have pointed out that it wasn't safe, but last night when MamaG had mentioned there wouldn't be anyone to meet her flight. So the deaf senior planned to take a cab to her motel. As a CSI Sara had seen the terrible things that could happen to tourists, so offering to pickup MamaG had been the most natural thing for Sara to do.

Now Amy was holding up the sign they'd made last night while Sara scanned the crowd. A petite white haired woman with bright blue eyes that sparkled with intelligence and animation approached them. The woman shared shy smiles. MamaG reminded her of Grissom, Sara shook her head as she discounted the comparison as just another sign that she had the Bug Man on her mind.

_"Hello. Are you LV Veggie?" _The older woman finger spelled.

_"Hi I'm Sara and this is Amy. It's nice to finally meet you."_

_"Sara please call me Ginny. Hello Amy."_

_Hi._

"Do you have more luggage?" Sara asked clearly since she wasn't sure how to sign her question. Grateful that Ginny had mentioned in previous chats that she could both sign and read lips. Sara hoped it was clear enough because the memory of having Dr. Jane Gilbert, the Director of the Deaf College, explode at her and Warrick while investigating a student's murder still rankled.

"Yes." Since the older woman had lost her hearing as an adult she still spoke very clearly. Grabbing Amy's hand, Sara guided the trio towards the luggage carrousel. After Ginny pointed out her suitcase, Sara stepped forward to grab it and then led the group to her SUV.

After a quick stop on the Strip to get Ginny settled at her hotel they drove to one of the nicer suburban subdivisions of Las Vegas to meet Ginny's friends for Amy's play date. The house they approached was the kind that Sara wanted. It looked like the others in the neighborhood with a manicured lawn and family vehicles in the driveway. Ginny pushed the doorbell. Sara knew that since it was a deaf home the doorbell would use lights to alert the residents of visitors. When the door opened Sara smiled at the family that greeted Ginny with hugs and a flurry of sign language.

"Sara this is Nancy and Paul Chandler and their daughter Erica." All three had brown hair ranging from medium to dark brown with light eyes

"_It's very nice to meet you."_ Sara felt awkward as she tried to communicate with the Chandlers.

"So Ginny tells me you met in an Osteoscloris support chat on-line after your little girl was diagnosed with the condition."

"_Yes."_

"Well all the adults here can read lips so don't worry about your signing." Sara smiled gratefully at the other woman as she dropped her hands down to her sides.

"You have a very beautiful home." Nancy smiled at the compliment as she led the group into the Living Room.

"Sara this is Dr. Jane Gilbert."

"_Jane this is Ginny the Gallery Owner who sells my paintings, her friend Sara and Sara's daughter Amy." _Paul introduced the new arrivals.

"_We've met. She works for the Crime Lab." _Dr. Gilbert'swords were just as clipped and angry as Sara remembered.

"_It's nice to see you again." _Sara made an effort to sign and speak clearly while looking Dr. Gilbert in the eye. She didn't want to embarrass herself and Ginny with bad manners and sloppy signing. _"This is Amy."_

_Mama can I go play now?_

"_Why is Amy Durham calling you Mother?" _If Dr. Gilbert's first sentence had been cold then this was an artic blast.

"Amy's family was killed and her remaining living relatives decided they didn't want her so I'm adopting Amy." The CSI tried to explain calmly and clearly.

_"Don't you think she'd be better off with parents who understand her needs as a deaf child?" _Nancy Chandler asked.

"No."

"_Does it make you feel better, feel special to be adopting an orphaned deaf girl?" _Sara had dreaded this kind of attack from someone like Jane Gilbert. Each time the woman spoke she got colder and angrier. Sara wondered what the statue of limitations on ignorance was. Sara Sidle wasn't the same woman who'd brought an interpreter to an interview without checking with Dr. Gilbert first.

"Dr. Gilbert I'm adopting a child."

"_You can't understand her needs or what it's like being deaf." _

"Maybe not, but I care enough to try and give her a loving home."

_"What does your husband think?"_

"I'm not married." She stated simply, she didn't want trouble and she liked Ginny too much to embarrass her by letting her emotions get out of control.

_"Why should the state let you have Amy when there are deaf couples on the waiting list?"_

Sara didn't have an answer for that question since this was a private adoption, but was grateful when Ginny and Paul drew the conversation away from Sara and Amy onto other topics. Catching Dr. Gilbert's eye Sara knew that she hadn't heard the last on the subject.

* * *

Grissom looked at his wristwatch as he knocked on her front door. "Hey." Straightening his gray sports jacket again he hoped Sara didn't mind the surprise that was in store for them.

"Hi." Sara leaned against the open door. She noticed that his clothes were nicer than everyday work clothes, but not as nice as Court clothes. The dark gray jacket over a blue dress shirt set off his eyes and hair, while the darker pants in her opinion gave him a slimmer and sleeker look. "So are you really early or are you canceling? Though canceling isn't a bad idea because I probably won't be good company tonight."

He was concerned by how sad and worn out she looked and sounded. She was wearing the expression he associated with cases that ended badly. Stepping forward he touched her shoulder gently. "Are you alright?"

"I'm not sure. You wanna come in?"

"Yeah." Pushing off the frame she led him inside.

"Remember I told you that Amy had a play date? Well it didn't end so well."

Nodding he followed her in, noticing how she carried herself. He hadn't seen that kind of slump in her posture since the police station after her traffic stop and DUI warning. Someone or something had done this in the eight hours they were apart. Grissom's jaw clenched at the idea that someone had hurt Sara. "Sara what happened?"

"Jane Gilbert." She still had her back to him, but could sense his puzzlement.

"The Director for the deaf school?" She nodded her head once. He remembered how passionate the blonde woman had been when her student died. "Sara what happened."

"According to Dr. Gilbert and her fan club I'm unfit to be Amy's mom and I have no right to ruin her life by changing her ability to hear or not." Sara didn't cry this time, but the criticism still stung.

"Oh Honey." He reached for her then, stepping forward and pulling her back a little at the same time so he could wrap his arms around her waist. Grissom didn't know what to say that would make everything better so he just held her.

"It was awful Griss, like being interrogated and reprimanded at the same time. The entire time all I could think was what if they're right? Maybe she'd be would better off with a real family, with two parents and a dog. What if I am being selfish putting my desires over her needs." Sara was glad that she couldn't see Gil's face, while he was hugging her from behind. She wasn't sure she would have been able to tell him if she'd been looking him in the eye and was a little afraid to see him agreeing with those terrible accusations and statements. He knew more about her past than almost anyone alive.

"You may not understand what it's like to lose your hearing, but you survived the same kind of childhood she had. Most importantly you love her and she loves you." Sara sniffed and relaxed against him, for the first time letting her senses process what was happening. How he felt and smiled as he stood behind her with his arms wrapping her waist. He smiled into her hair because Sara trusted him enough to share her pain. "I want to take you and Amy out to dinner. There's someone I want you to meet. So how bout while you freshen up, while I get Amy ready, deal?"

"Deal. Where are we going?"

"I was thinking the Mirage so after dinner we could take Amy through Siegfried and Roy's Secret Garden."

"She'll love it." He dropped his arms, releasing her as she headed for her room her heart suggested that maybe he enjoyed the hug and regretted pulling away as much as she did. It was easier to set aside her own doubts and the concerns Dr. Gilbert had voiced because Grissom believed in her. Pulling a different outfit from the closet she decided she'd enjoy tonight regardless of who he introduced her too.


	15. Chapter 15

_RATING: T for future chapters just in case _

_SPOILERS: Shouldn't have any but would have to come after Season 6. _

_DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own either CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them. I wish I did, but I don't so I'm just borrowing them for a little recreation or re-creation depending on where Season 6 takes us. _

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: Italicized words_ represent the translation of signs used in American Sign Language since ASL doesn't use the same grammar as spoken English. If it is _italicized_ and in quotes than it's someone speaking as they sign.

Also I apologize for the delay, but between RL and writer's block Ihaven't been able to work on my fics as much as I like. Thanks to everyone who reviewed you kept me motivated knowing that readers were looking forward to the next chapter too.

* * *

When she walked out of her bedroom Sara felt more than noticed his appraisal. Ignoring the temptation to nervously adjust the sleeveless rose cocktail dress she crossed the room to join him on the couch while they waited for Amy.

"Do you think this will be okay? I wasn't quite sure what the code was for the Mirage is." Sara asked about the outfit. She'd paired strappy silver sandals and some simple silver jewelry with the dress that ended just a couple inches above her knee revealing her legs for his inspection. He was too polite to ogle, but she'd noticed him paying a lot attention.

"You look beautiful." That of course was the correct answer and he was rewarded with a brilliant full smile that light up her face.

"You look pretty good too." She winked at him.

"I really appreciate you saying yes to dinner. My guest has been trying to fix me up this woman she met online that she swears would be absolutely perfect for me."

"So Amy and I are supposed to help put an end to the attempts at matchmaking?"

"I doubt you could, but at least it guarantees me one meal where she won't bring it up." The conversation was dropped when Amy entered the room and they focused on the little girl who was wearing a dark blue velvety dress with white tights and black sandals. _"You're beautiful."_ Both adults signed causing Amy to grin as she spun around so that her skirt twirled around her.

_Thank you. You're beautiful Mommy._

"_Thank you Amy. Time to go Grissom?_" Sara asked in sign language.

"_Yes. Let's go._"

* * *

In the ladies room Sara dug in her purse for her dark rose lip gloss. Grissom had her confused again. She wanted to ask if this was a dinner between friends or something more. He'd tried to be so subtle, but she'd seen his glances as his eyes skimmed over her body. When they'd sat close together she'd observed the slight darkening of his blue eyes. Her outfit had gotten the man's attention.

She'd felt those same eyes on her during the drive, watching her with an intensity that made her feel desirable. During the short walk from their parking space through the hotel his hand had been pressed firmly and possessively on the small of back. Combined with the couple of universal signals he was broadcasting to other men that she was taken, seemed to contradict his earlier implication that she was doing him a favor by joining him and his guest for dinner.

Finding the pink tube she'd been searching for she uncapped it and began applying the gloss to her lips. Pressing her lips together she smiled at her reflection. The smile was bright because she felt more hope about the possibility of a personal relationship beyond friendship with him then she had in years. Striding back to the dining room to join him and Amy she was curious how the night would end.

Gil still wasn't used to seeing Sara like this, for the last half dozen years he'd only seen her in work or court clothes. Neither of which were as blatantly sexy as the dress she was wearing. While the dress had caught his attention, her perfume held it. The scent was so subtle that he wished for the electronic nose so he could identify the composition. Some of the stronger notes were easy to identify like the rose, vanilla and lavender, but it was the other tantalizingly subtle smells in the fragrance that had him curious.

Her fragrance wasn't the only aspect that had him curious about her. The cocktail dress had not only revealed creamy skin, but also molded to her delicate frame to expose her soft curves, while flaring to highlight her long legs. The combination had him wondering if her skin was as soft as in his fantasies. Would she wrap her legs around him if they made love? Were the back of her knees an erogenous zone?

His attention was so focused on Sara that he didn't notice that she arrived at their table at the same time as his guest. He stood up to introduce Sara to the simply dressed woman who barely reached Sara's shoulder.

_"Sara I would like you to meet my mother, Virginia Grissom. Mom this is Sara." _During the drive to the restaurant Gil had come up with several different scenarios when he made the introductions. What he was witnessing wasn't one he'd considered. Both women were laughing and Amy was being picked up by his mother.

"I knew you looked familiar." Sara had dismissed Mama G's white hair and sparkling blue eyes at the airport, but looking at the petite seventy year old in the purple pantsuit she noticed the similarities. They had the same eyes, mouth and curling locks. Though Ginny like Grissom kept the curling under control by wearing her hair fairly short bob.

_"Hello again. I thought you couldn't join us for dinner because you were meeting BM?" _This was too surreal for Gil Grissom so he remained quiet watching the pair converse.

"_BM." Sara pointed at Grissom then she signed. "Bug Man."_

"_I thought BM was Boss Man." _Ginny asked, but Sara only smiled. Nodding in silent understanding his mother then moved her hands quickly in her son's direction. _Gil this is the girl I was trying to get you to meet. _

Looking at Sara he considered what his mother had just revealed. Sara Sidle was the mystery Vegas woman his mother had deemed his perfect match. He thought about the other things she'd shared when mentioning the woman she chatted with. A single mother in love with her boss was the phrase he'd heard most often. His mouth dropped open in a quiet gasp as he connected the dots. The smirking smile on his mother's face told him she'd known he'd put the pieces together eventually.

_After dinner I'll take Amy to see the animals. So you and Sara can enjoy some quiet time alone._

_Mother Sara's my employee._ Ginny just shrugged, her silent way of dismissing his concerns in a 'mother knows best' sort of way before continuing.

_You like her Gil. You have for years. Now make your move so you and Sara can give me more grandbabies before it's too late for me to enjoy them._

* * *

Walking through the exhibit Grissom smiled down at the woman and her arm entwined with his. Like Sara his mother had warned him about being too late, but what should his next step be.

Sara broke the comfortable silence. "I may need more time off than I thought."

"Oh?"

"Alex called this afternoon her mom is in the hospital and she might not be here for another couple weeks. Mom has to work and I can't just leave Amy with anybody."

"Don't worry about it. You've got plenty of vacation time on the books. "

"Thanks Griss. It's just frustrating because I miss work and was looking forward to going back."

"_Why don't I stay with you?" _Gil's mother asked.

_I want Mama G to stay after my operation._ Amy signed already looking forward to spending more time with this grandmotherly woman who was so much nicer than the Grandmother she'd had before.

"Gil?" Sara asked, waiting for the man who valued his privacy to give an opinion.

"I think it's a great idea." He really did like the idea it gave him the perfect excuse to spend more time with Sara and Amy, while not ignoring his mother.

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

_RATING: _Changed to M just in case

_SPOILERS: _Shouldn't have any but would have to come after Season 6.

_DISCLAIMERS: _Afraid I don't own either CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them. I wish I did, but I don't so I'm just borrowing them for a little recreation or re-creation depending on where Season 6 takes us.

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: If _you aren't interested in smut you might want to skim over parts of this chapter. For smut connoisseurs this is only my second attempt at smut so please be kind. To everyone else I'm sorry for the delay, between work, play and trying to finish my WIPs I've been busy, but things are settling down so I should update pretty soon.

* * *

With a final pat of the blankets smoothing down the fabric until he was satisfied that Amy was tucked in snugly, but not too tight. She slipped a small hand out to pat the bed in a silent invitation, so he sat down. He had already read her the story, the book was closed now and resting on the bedside table with the lamp he'd just turned off. The room's only light was the glow her star nightlight radiated, but that was enough for him to watch her by. She yawned then shifted until she was curled up on her side, hands tucked up near by her check. He listened as her yawn changed to a deep sigh as her breathing deepened.

In the darkness and quiet he watched her sleep and reflected. He remembered a conversation he'd had years ago with Catherine over a late breakfast after she'd returned from Desert Palms after collecting the SAE kit from a five-year old. He hated assigning her to cases with kids, but for this case she had been the best choice and sometimes the cases were more important than his staff.

"She wanted me to take her dolly home with me that way the bad man couldn't hurt Dolly." Catherine took a big gulp of her screwdriver and watched him for a few seconds giving him time to respond, when he didn't she continued. "You know after the normal cases it's usually enough just to go home and watch Lindsey sleep for a while, but for this case I just had to see her and touch her you know. I needed to know that my baby was safe."

For the first time in his life and career he understood what Cath had meant, there was something peaceful and wonderful about watching Amy sleep. It was like nothing he'd ever experienced before, yet felt familiar. Closing his eyes he tried to place when he'd felt similar stirrings in his heart. Immediately he pictured the break room and a different dark haired beauty sound asleep. Even though the memory was years old it hadn't faded he could still see the long strands of espresso colored hair draped over ivory skin where Sara's head rested on her arms.

Somehow over the course of just a few days Amy had crept into his heart to join her mother. He couldn't pin point the exact moment he'd started loving Sara only that sometime between the day they met and the Havilland case he'd fallen in love with her. It was his reaction when Philip Gerard mentioned her relationship with Hank that was the first hint that a line had been crossed. That Sara was more than a student, employee and friend.

Gil didn't bother trying to count the number of times he'd blundered over the line between personal and professional. Those times he'd reach out to her only to retreat back into his protective shell. He couldn't explain it, didn't try to excuse it but knew that Sara wouldn't allow him to do that to Amy. He'd seen Catherine's fiercely protective 'Mama Bear' personality, but suspected that it was mild compared to Sara's. Having been hurt by so many people Sara would go to great lengths to keep her child safe.

Looking at the little girl he felt protective surge of his own. Was he really so different from Sara? Was there anything he wouldn't do to keep Amy safe or make her happy? Wasn't that true for Sara? Sitting in the dark room he considered those questions which meant facing his fears and desires. As he admitted the answers he knew he'd never be the same ever again.

Quietly escaping the little girl's bedroom he looked at the closed bedroom door across the hall. After tomorrow morning his mother would be staying there. He was glad his mother had interfered and offered to stay with Amy. It was amazing the way things were falling into place. Ginny could take advantage of the opening to spend time with Amy and be a grandmother figure. Sara could return to work, to the job she excelled at and the people she missed working with. He planned to take this time to see if they could work together and still have whatever this was in their off-time.

He stopped short of walking into the Living Room to watch Sara. Her feet were tucked under her as she cuddled into the couch sipping her tea and waited for him. When she wasn't drinking her head was tipped to the side revealing her neck and the fair flesh normally hidden by her dark hair. For just a moment he let himself revel in fantasy that Sara was waiting for him so they could enjoy their time alone. This time were the precious minutes following tucking the children into bed but before he left for shift.

Walking up behind her he'd sweep the remaining hair wisps off her nape before placing the first of many kisses there. His calloused fingers would slide down her shoulders over her collar bone tracing designs on the delicate flesh as he continued his journey. The next destination would be her breasts; he'd cup them tenderly enjoying the weight in his hands. There would be a pause as all his movement halted as he listened to her breathing and felt her pulse against his lips. He waited for Sara, for the vocal and physical responses that would direct his next movement.

Making love to Sara would be an intense encounter to be savored as her passionate nature was unleashed. He would use his knowledge of her and skills acquired over the years to build it either slowly or quickly depending on her mood. Their couplings would leave them both breathless and stunned at the passion they inspired in each other,

When she was impatient and wanted it to hard and fast she'd grab his wrist to pull his hand down to her core. Releasing his hand she moved her own back around to rub him as his fingers stroked and plunged into her warm. Ragged breathing and gasps would fill the air as they brought each other to the edge. Releasing her, he'd spin her so they could join together, both coming with a loss of control that delighted and frightened him, but that wouldn't be what she wanted tonight.

Instead she would gently thrust her breasts against his fingers, pleading for him to touch her. That would be the signal to begin the slow torment as he kissed and teased responses from her body. He would start with her nipples gently brushing against them until she groaned in frustration. He'd relent for a moment and begin the slow circular movements around her breasts. Brushing the outside first, slowly the circle would get smaller and smaller until her fingers lingered on her nipples. The tight buds demanding even more attention until he tweaked them lightly. The light pinches leaving Sara gasping.

Then he stepped around, now they stood face to face. Her eyes would have darken until he could hardly make out her dilated pupils as each wave of sensation crashed over her, building and building to a spectacular crescendo. Replacing his nimble digits with an even more talented mouth and tongue to pull and soothe the sensitive flesh. Grinning against her skin when her eyes popped open and her fingers clutched his hair to hold him there.

Eventually his hands and mouth would continue their journey. Her eyes would drift closed as the sensations threatened to overwhelm her. Since he wasn't a young man anymore he would take the time to pleasure Sara before entering her. By the time they came together she'd be clutching his shoulders, her groans and whispers increasing his own pleasure as they each found completion and satisfaction in the other.

Yes those moments after the children were in bed would be the most treasured and savored of the day he thought as he slowly returned to the present. Children? In all his previous fantasies of Sara he hadn't imagined children, but now he could see it. It was easy to imagine her pregnant, the way her body would alter and grow to accommodate new life. There would be a new fullness to her breasts, hips and stomach and each change would only make her more beautiful and precious in his eyes. His breath hitched at the thought of Sara cradling an infant with dark curls and eyes with his dimples and cleft chin.

She felt him watching her before she saw him. "Is she asleep?" Her voice brought him out of his latest reverie.

"Yeah snug as a bug."

She laughed before patting the couch next to her. "She's worn out. First an afternoon playing with kids her own age and then dragging us through the big cat exhibits."

He sipped the coffee she handed him, careful to keep his distance on the couch. Sara was always tempting, but after his mental diversions he needed space between them so he could just enjoy her company until it was time to go to the Lab. Now he reminded himself firmly wasn't the time to demonstrate to Ms. Sidle certain biological imperatives stemming from his interest in her. Now was the time to build a strong foundation of trust and affection there would be plenty of time for the other things later.


	17. Chapter 17

_SPOILERS: Shouldn't have any but would have to come after Season 6._

_DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own either CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them. I wish I did, but I don't so I'm just borrowing them for a little recreation or re-creation depending on where Season 6 takes us._

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: Italicized words_ represent the translation of signs used in American Sign Language since ASL doesn't use the same grammar as spoken English. If it is _italicized_ and in quotes than it's someone speaking as they sign.

* * *

The new gold key was bright and shiny compared to the others on his key ring. Every time he caught sight of it, he had to suppress a grin. Sliding it into the lock his smile grew as it turned easily and he heard the lock mechanism unbolt. He'd unlocked her front door it was still a thrill, like an unexpected turn on a roller coaster. When Sara had pressed one of the new keys she'd had made for her apartment into his hand the morning after dinner at the mirage it had been a shock. Once he was able to wrap his mind around it he realized that it was suppose to be for convenience, but there was a new level of intimacy in his having one he hadn't been prepared for. 

"Gil it makes more sense if you have a key and let yourself in." Sara had pointed out reasonably. He knew she had decided to wait for the results of Amy's surgery before installing devices for the hearing impaired like the one that flashed the lights when the phone or doorbell rang.

So each morning when he unlocked the door the analytical part of his mind drilled that giving him the key was logical. Stepping through the door he found that argument a little hard to believe. The key wasn't the only accommodation she'd made. Without saying a word suddenly things he liked or needed started appearing. First it was the new dish on the entry table where he could deposit his keys, phone, wallet and sunglasses as soon as he walked in the door. Next she'd created a place he could leave his briefcase and space in the closet for his coat. Then just as suddenly she was suddenly getting the paper on a daily basis. He was still stunned at how seamlessly she seemed to be integrating him into their lives.

Over the last few days they'd settled into a comfortable routine; he'd come over after shift, have breakfast with them and unwind which was usually just reading the newspaper, doing the crossword or chatting. Though yesterday after a really rough case, his mother shooed him and Sara out of the house for a walk. Sara didn't ask, was content to just walk silently with him until he opened up and told her about it.

Gil didn't have to censor himself or try to explain why the case upset him because this was Sara. His most empathetic CSI who'd worked side by side with him for years. She understood because she'd experienced it; the frustrations of the job, the indescribable feelings when the victim was a child and the nightmares they gave rise too. At one point during the walk she'd slipped her hands around his.

The combination of the warmth from her hand and unspoken understanding was comforting as they walked home silently hand in hand spread through his chest. He felt the tension in his shoulders ease and something in his heart shifted. A child had been murdered last night and they both knew no words would make it better. Sara had insisted he sleep in her room; he'd expected nightmares as his brain replayed the terrible awfulness he'd witness at the scene, during the autopsy and the interrogation, but with his nose buried in her pillows inhaling her scent they never came.

It hadn't taken much for Sara to convince him to stay and each day he found himself less and less inclined to go back to his hermitically sealed townhouse. After spending time at Sara's it was difficult to go back to the quiet, lifeless and monochromatic house. Each time he did was a reminded that Sara and Amy brought color, noise and emotions into his life. It was getting harder to remember his reasons; for keeping his distance from Sara, why he should prefer a house instead of a home.

So the last couple of days he'd stayed and depending on what plans his mother and Sara had he'd either sleep at Sara's or go out with them and sleep later. It was a pleasant way to spend the day and it gave him something to look forward to at the end of a shift.

Grabbing the newspaper he walked into the kitchen for a cup of coffee, he smiled. This was another change; Sara had set the coffee pot timer so there was a fresh pot waiting for him. This morning the apartment was very quiet, but he reminded himself that since he hadn't stayed late for paperwork he was earlier than normal. This meant that the ladies were probably still in bed. Pulling a mug quietly from the cupboard he considered making breakfast, but decided to wait for the others see what their plans for the day were and what they might want to eat. For now he'd just enjoy the coffee and the paper on Sara's comfortable couch.

Carrying the mug to the living room he was surprised to see Sara curled up on one end of the couch. In a single quick glance he knew something was terribly wrong. Her eyes were red from crying, she was clutching some papers and was curled in on herself with her knees pulled up to her chin.

"Sara Honey what's wrong?"

"Gil?" Her voice cracked with barely controlled emotion.

"Sara I need you to tell me what's wrong so I can help." Looking into her eyes he tried to give her strength as she drew a shaky breath to continue.

"I got these this morning." Showing him several pale blue covered tri-folded papers that he recognized as legal papers. In their line of work getting legal papers especially subpoenas was routine, just another part of the job so he didn't understand why she was so upset. "This one is an injunction preventing Amy's surgery." She handed him the first one. "This one is contesting my adoption." The second one was placed on the first. "And this one is suing for custody because they feel I'm an unfit mother." Sara's lip trembled as she gave him the final one.

"What? Let me see those." Setting the mug down he took the papers she handed him as the tears began to silently run down her cheeks again. This time Sara swiped at them angrily. Until she met his eyes and saw her own pain mirrored back.

"What do I do? Gil I can't lose her." A choked sob escaped. Tugging gently on her hand, he pulled her closer to him until he could wrap his arms around her. She leaned closer until she could rest her head on his shoulder and quietly weep into his shirt.

"Honey don't worry we'll figure something out. They won't take her from us without a fight I promise." Kissing her hair he squeezed her tightly until her crying quieted and she drew in these deep shuddery breaths. As he held and comforted Sara one part of his mind was focused on her, while the other already dissecting the problem and drawing up a plan of action. The first step was to calm Sara because as she'd explained the other day that Amy needed emotional stability.

Gil may have sounded calm, but pressed against his chest Sara could tell from his pulse that he was upset. She'd never really believed that old proverb about a problem shared was a problem halved until now. For the first time since reading the papers she wasn't facing this alone anymore. It wasn't Sara Sidle against the world because Gil had said we, us and together. They were words she'd wanted but never expected to hear outside of the lab. Those simple words merged with his touch, made her feel better. He'd unthinkingly given her comfort and hope for a relationship between them and the family they seemed to be building.

He wasn't sure how long they sat in that quiet embrace, but he pulled back a little at the concerned questioning look from his mother so he could quickly sign an explanation.

_What can we do Gil?_

_We'll fight. Amy belongs here with us so after breakfast I'll call my lawyer and see what our choices are_.

_I'll make pancakes. Amy will be up soon. _His mother signed distractedly as Gil nodded before tightening his hold on Sara again. Ginny Grissom headed for the kitchen and wondered if this would bring them together or tear them apart. She was surprised at thrilled at her son's reaction and considered it a small success. Over the last few days she'd been uncovering the reasons why Sara and Gil weren't romantically involved. She'd planned to use logic to slowly whittle away at those reasons. Until only the reasons they belonged together remained.

"Sweetheart. Mom's making breakfast and Amy's gonna be up soon." She pulled back a little and he moved his hands from her back, up over her shoulders to frame her face. "Why don't you take a quick shower and get ready? You'll feel better after a hot shower. Then after breakfast we'll start figuring this out." While most of his hands cupped her cheek, he used both thumbs to wipe away the last wetness from her tears. "Then after breakfast we'll sit down and figure things out. Okay?" She nodded and managed a small smile.

"Neither of us is going to know where to start Gil. Do you think Catherine would mind helping?" Sara spoke in a soft voice, but it was the subtle hints of fear and rejection that surprised him. This wasn't the voice of his brilliant student, confident CSI and the wonderful mother he'd come to know. Looking into her eyes he saw the fear and doubt, this was a side of Sara rarely seen.

"I'll call her. I know she'd love to help."

"Then I guess I should go clean up." He nodded, releasing her. "Thank you for being here Gil."

Before he could respond she was gone leaving behind just a faint hint of her perfume. Opening up his cell phone he dialed his best friend's phone number and hoped she could help them through this mess.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

_SPOILERS: Shouldn't have any but would have to come after Season 6._

_DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own either CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them. I wish I did, but I don't so I'm just borrowing them for a little mental recreation._

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: Italicized words_ represent the translation of signs used in American Sign Language since ASL doesn't use the same grammar as spoken English. If it is _italicized_ and in quotes than it's someone speaking as they sign. t wasn't beta'd so all mistakes are mine.

* * *

Ending the call with Catherine, he thanked his lucky stars that the feisty former stripper was his best friend. After briefly explaining the situation, she'd made him feel better by calmly reassured him not to worry that she'd met up with them and her friend Jeannie, the best family attorney in the city, at his place in an hour and together they'd help Sara get through this.

Leaning against the counter he watched his mother pour pancake batter onto the hot griddle like she had when he was Amy's age. While she cooked breakfast his dad would do the newspaper crossword puzzle until young Gil joined them and then together they'd read the sport's page. It was a cherished memory from his childhood, one he suddenly wanted to replicate with Sara and Amy.

_How is she?_

_Scared. She's taking a shower now. _

_How are you?_

_Angry. They don't deserve this._

Setting the pancake mixture aside she stepped closer to her only child, she tipped his face so that both sets of blue eyes locked.

_You love them._

It was a statement not a question so Gil didn't have to confirm or deny his feelings. When she held out her hand for the legal papers, he handed them over and took up the spatula. She read through them while he watched for the pancakes for bubbles and drying edges. By the time she'd scanned through the documents he'd gone through scooping up a batch and pouring more batter out a couple of times.

Scooping off the latest batch onto the plate he glanced at his mother, beneath her light tan she'd paled and from the tightness around her pursed mouth he could tell she was both upset and angry.

_Mom, what is it?_

_This_ she waggled the papers _is my fault. I introduced Sara to the Chandlers and now they want to steal Amy from us._

The seasoned investigator noticed that he wasn't the only one who'd come to start thinking of Amy as theirs. However, as a loving son that observation was filed away to be analyzed later so he could focus on his mother.

_Mom this isn't your fault. You didn't know they'd do this._

_I should have known better. Grief makes you do funny things._

_Grief?_ He questioned hoping to draw out as much information as possible before Sara finished her shower.

_They lost a daughter last year. Allergic reaction to anesthesia. I think._

"_Good morning Amy." _Gil signed when the small girl walked in. Watching the happy child in her pink knit nightgown with a picture of Barbie on the front and a huge smile, he decided she needed to be sheltered and protected.

_Good morning. That smells good._

_Amy can you help me set the table?_

Answering with a brief nod, Amy walked over to the sink, pulled out a step up stool and began washing her hands before she grabbed the dishes.

_Mom, I'm gonna check on Sara._

The bedroom door was open when he approached, but he cleared his throat anyway to give her a subtle warning.

"Come on in Gil." Sara was fully dressed in black cotton pants and a red tank top, sitting at the foot of her bed towel drying her hair some more.

"Leave it natural." He whispered, her small smile covering up her discomfort that he'd known what she was thinking without her saying it.

"Mom will keep Amy occupied while we go to my place."

"Oh?"

"Yeah I thought we could use the townhouse as a war room for meeting with Catherine and the lawyer. I assumed you'd want to protect Amy from getting upset, before…" His words trailed off, but Sara had knew what he meant and the gesture was precious to her. Gil Grissom who valued his privacy had invited people to his home to protect Amy from exposure to this discussion.

"Thank you and you were right about the shower I do feel better." Sara smiled and for the first time that morning it reached her eyes.

* * *

Later at Grissom's Townhouse

Sitting at the table Sara watched the woman sitting across from her reading the blue covered legal documents. Her long wavy golden hair was stylishly cut to frame her face. Grey eyes were half hidden behind her steel framed reading glasses as she scanned the documents. Jeannette McAllister was considered the best civil attorney in the Las Vegas area so it was a little surprising to see her sitting in Gil Grissom's townhouse in casual clothes at 8:30 on Friday morning. Every so often she'd make a note on her yellow legal pad.

It seemed like an eternity before Jeanette pulled off her glasses, folded them carefully and looked at the group around the table. "Well I have some questions before we get much further. I see two basic issues Amy's surgery and custody."

"Jeanie we need to get the surgery injunction lifted first Amy is supposed to go in for surgery on Monday morning. If they make us wait the more likely Amy won't regain her hearing." Gil explained.

The blonde noted that the scientist was more invested in the outcome than she would've suspected from Catherine's initial phone call. Turning to evaluate her client, the pretty young woman who was probably the source of his attachment, the attorney tried to determine how this affected her case. Sara didn't flinch under the lawyer's scrutiny she'd testified too many times for it to unnerve her anymore.

"Right so the little girl is deaf, but this surgery will cure that. So what's the hurry, why can't it wait? What do I need to make the judge understand?"

"Bone is growing in Amy's ears and after the surgery she will have prosthetics that should allow her to regain most of her hearing. If we wait any longer it might be too late. Also her doctors all agreed it would be best to get it done now so she can be healed and ready when school starts in a couple weeks and not have to deal with the stress of changing schools or starting late." Sara explained trying to impress on the attorney the importance of the surgery.

"Okay then the first thing we need to do is approach Judge Schneider about assigning Amy a child advocate. I think Rosemary Sanchez would be the best choice, since she knows sign language. Then we'll help Rosie convince the Judge to reverse his decision and allow the surgery to go as planned because it's in the child's best medical interests. That's the easy part."

"Rosie and I go way back, I'll give her a heads up." Catherine got up after getting a small nod from the attorney. She was scrolling through the phone's address book as she headed towards the front door giving the trio privacy to discuss the custody issue. Biting her lip the red head thought back to her own custody fights with Eddie and was worried. She'd been told more than once that being single, with her job and the hours she put in would be a negative mark against her in a custody battle.

"What can you tell me about Nancy and Paul Chandler?"

"I met them and their daughter Erica a couple of days ago. Gil's mom introduced me to them, so Amy could have a play date with Erica."

"Do you know why they'd file these motions?"

"Not really, though Jane Gilbert from the local college for the deaf was also there, she was pretty vocal about her concerns. They seemed like a very nice family and Erica was very taken with Amy."

"From what my mom said, they lost their other daughter a year ago."

Jeanie nodded and made another note on her legal pad. Sara blinked in shock trying to process the new information. It took her a couple of minutes to realize she'd miss part of the conversation and tried to focus on what Jeanie was saying.

"I'm going to be frank Sara you've got a battle ahead of you as far as keeping Amy. Most judges still prefer to place children in two parent households especially one where her disability wouldn't be a factor. Your job, the hours you work and how you met Amy will probably be held against you. I'll do what I can, but I think you need to prepare yourself for the worst." Gathering up her notes, slipping into her briefcase Jeannie McAllister was already mentally preparing for the next step in Amy's case. "I'll give you a call in a couple hours we should know by lunchtime if you'll need to cancel."

A slight nod indicated that Sara had heard the prognosis. When she started biting her lip, Grissom knew she was close to losing it again. He started to stand to do his duty as a host and escort the lawyer to the door, but she waved it off.

"Looks like she needs you now." Jeannie's tone made it clear she didn't think less of Sara Sidle for the visible emotional crumbling that was slowly tearing the CSI to pieces. After nearly thirty years in the business Jeannie McAllister had seen it all, Sara's breakdown was about typical; a combination of shock and despair. Seeing it made Jeannie more comfortable with her client, it was only when her clients were emotional extremes either showing too much or too little that caused her concern because with those types it was a gamble when they testified how they'd come across. Sara however was just right and when the time came to testify the brunette would impress the judge with both her strength and her vulnerability.

"Thanks Jeannie." He called out as he sat back down. The attorney just nodded, never breaking her stride as she left. Looking back at Sara he reached out his hand to cover her clasped ones.

"They're gonna win and there's nothing I can do about it. Griss I can't lose her." The tears slipped out. Tugging gently on her hand, he pulled her closer to him until he could wrap his arms around her.

Kissing her hair he squeezed her tight until her crying quieted, "Honey don't worry we'll figure something out. I promise."

"I don't mean to be negative, its just I'm worried. Griss they're threatening to take her away because of my job."

"You should talk to Catherine she's been through this, she could give you some pointers."

"Do you think Ecklie and Carvalho would let me take a tech job on days?"

Grissom tightened his grip on Sara, he didn't want to lose either Amy or Sara and it wasn't right that she should have to give up her job, one that she loved and was very good at. "Let's take this one step at a time. Okay?"

She nodded into his shoulder, trying to let his closeness and warmth comfort her.


	19. Chapter 19

_SPOILERS: Shouldn't have any but would have to come after Season 6._

_DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own either CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them. I wish I did, but I don't so I'm just borrowing them for a little mental recreation._

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: Italicized words_ represent the translation of signs used in American Sign Language since ASL doesn't use the same grammar as spoken English. If it is _italicized_ and in quotes than it's someone speaking as they sign. This was unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own

* * *

After Gil and Sara left Mama G had considered what would be the best way to occupy Amy, but the final inspiration for her plan came from a business card she saw on Sara's refrigerator. 'Any Day Cakes because any time is the perfect time for cake!' Stepping into the bakery Virginia Grissom found the business to be just as charming as the card. Based on the treats in the glass cases it was obvious that they didn't just make cakes; there were candies, cookies, cupcakes, breads and pastries of all kinds on display. 

Two women stood behind the counters one with short her gray hair in a pixie cut and a taller one with longer gray streaked brown hair. When the brunette came from behind the counter with a couple dark muffins with light centers. MamaG was surprised when Amy ran over and hugged the woman.

"_Hi Amy. Here's a muffin."_ Laura handed the little girl the carrot cake muffin with the cream cheese filling. It was the one sweet in the store Sara had said was okay to give Amy.

_Thank you._ Amy grabbed the woman's hand and dragged her over to Ginny. _Mama G this is Grandma Laura._

"_Hi I'm Ginny Grissom."_

"_Your Gil's mother."_

"_Guilty."_

"_It's nice to meet you. I'm Sara's mother, Laura Sidle._ Would you like a muffin? This one's carrot cake with a cream cheese frosting filling." Laura's signing was the jerky and unsure motions of someone just learning the language, but Ginny was pleased to see that like mother –like daughter they were both making the effort.

Ginny accepted the muffin and was impressed in the first bite. The cake was moist with the right mix of sweet and savory, full of fruits and vegetables. The frosting center was a delightful twist and Ginny decided this was the perfect place to get a birthday cake.

"What brings you to Any Day?" Laura tried to make sure she maintained eye contact so Ginny could read her lips and remember everything Sara had taught her about dealing with the deaf.

"_We're planning a birthday party for Gil and came to order a cake."_

"Oh good. Come with me." Laura turned to the gray haired woman behind the counter. "Hey Maxine, I'm gonna help them order a cake for Sara's boss. Okay?"

"Sure Laura. I'll watch the counter. Make sure you show them some of our specialty theme cakes. After all the stuff they see, we should make a birthday real special." Laura was guiding Ginny and Amy to the back room when Maxine called out. "Make sure you give 'em the LVPD special discount."

Seated in the small office Ginny took a moment to watch Laura and noticed the similarities between mother and daughter; they shared the same dark hair, fine cheekbones and expressive eyes. It was the eyes that captivated her now. Like Sara there was something unreadable there; as if she was an old soul or someone who'd seen too much and lost her innocence too young. When Laura Sidle opened the photo album to show off some of her past work Ginny pushed away the curiosity about the Sidle women's eyes and focused on the pictures of cakes in different shapes and sizes impressed by the details from earrings on a Barbie cake to the miniature cards on a poker table.

"So what theme were you thinking for his birthday?" Ginny pulled a printout from her purse. Laura glanced at the paper. "This sounds like fun and perfect."

* * *

Sara tried to listen to Gil's heartbeat, but it wasn't loud enough to drowned out the voices in her head. She could hear the lawyer's words, blending with his answer about the promotion to mingle with the voices from her childhood; her father's angry shouts 'You should've known better stupid,' the sing song taunting from the kids at school 'Who would ever want stupid, freaky, ugly, klutzy Sara?' and the awful truth from her foster brother 'why would anyone want to be your family?' 

Her lip trembled so she bit it, there were tears in her eyes but she wouldn't let them fall. Suddenly the need to get out of there and as far away from the memory of voices taunting her about failure. "I can't be here right now. I have to go." She pulled away from Grissom and ran from the townhouse.

"Gil? Where's Sara going? She seemed pretty upset, should be alone?"

"I don't know Catherine. I really don't know."

"Don't worry I'll clean up and lock up." His friend called, but doubted he'd even heard her since he was already chasing after Sara.

* * *

Grissom kept his distance, watching Sara as she jogged down the street. He was reminded of all the hours he spent pacing her in preparation for the relay run. She was breathing hard and red faced by the time he'd pulled into the parking space. The Las Vegas August sun could be brutal. She'd left her purse and keys at his place, so she couldn't unlock the front door. Walking up the steps he tried to give her space, once the door was unlocked she walked past him and headed for the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. 

"You want to tell me what that was all about?"

"Just leave Grissom." He didn't move just stood silently in the doorway watching her as she set the half drunk water bottle down. "You're only here for Amy and they're taking her away. So just go there's no reason for you to stay now."

"I'm not leaving Sara."

"But you will because that's what you're going to do in the end." The tears started again, but she brushed them away harshly.

He closed the distance to hold her, but she pulled away from him forcefully so he dropped his arms. "You still don't know what to do 'this,' do you?" She didn't wait for his answer. "You and I have spent most of the last ten years doing this dance. Playing a game of push me, pull me. I don't think you do it intentionally, but it still hurts when you get distant, ignore me and put up your barriers. Each and every time it hurts." Wiping the wetness from her face again, he recognized that determined look. She turned away, unable to finish telling him the rest if she was looking at him, to lean against the counter, drawing strength from the cold tiles to be cold as ice. "I can't let you do that anymore. As soon as Amy's settled with the Chandlers I'm leaving Las Vegas for good."

"You need to get your facts straight Sara." She gasped quietly when he closed the distance to spin her around. His heavier masculine frame pushing her against the counter as his hands framed her face and his head slowly descended. He gave her a chance to say no before his lips brushed hers in a gentle first kiss, pulling back just enough to whisper. "I'm here for you." His next kiss was bolder as his fingers threaded through her espresso curls as his teeth, tongue and lips explored her mouth. Pulling apart when they were both breathless. "Amy's just a bonus, because I've always wanted you and your wrong. I know exactly what to do about this."

TBC

* * *

AN: Any Day Cakes and their slogan are my creations and not based on any specific bakery. 


	20. Chapter 20

_DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own either CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them. I wish I did, but I don't so I'm just borrowing them for a little mental recreation. _

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: Italicized words_ represent the translation of signs used in American Sign Language since ASL doesn't use the same grammar as spoken English. If it is _italicized_ and in quotes than it's someone speaking as they sign. This was unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own

* * *

Sara closed her eyes as Gil began placing rose petal soft kisses on her face, over her eyelids, across her cheeks until he finally reached her earlobe which he nipped before pulling away to let them catch their breath. She felt his warm breath brush against her hair, they were still connected; his chin pressed against near her ear and where his hands warmed her skin. She was stunned, Sara had never had anyone kiss her like that, there was thoroughness to his kisses, it was like when he processed evidence and his whole focus was on the smallest detail of his task.

His body thrummed, his heart sang and he wanted to shout from the rooftops that he'd finally kissed Sara. That wasn't really his style, but an apt quotation for the situation did rise unbidden in his mind, but Gil Grissom didn't share it. No he was too focused on what had happened, experiencing it and trying to remember how to breathe to do much more than acknowledge the truth of what Barbara Grizzuti Harrison had said. 'Fantasies are more than substitutes for unpleasant reality; they are also dress rehearsals, plans. All acts performed in the world begin in the imagination.'

He'd played this scenario out in his mind a thousand times, debated the merits of different kisses, and theorized her reaction. None of that had prepared him for the reality. This hadn't really felt like a first kiss, there was no awkwardness, they had fit and moved together like they'd been kissing for years. "Honey we need to talk before this goes any farther." He whispered in her ear.

"Uhm what?"

Grissom found his lips twitching up into a smirk as he pulled back to admire his handiwork. In all his fantasies over the years of kissing Sara he'd never imagined that he'd actually kiss her senseless. That was the best description for her state of mind, with her flushed cheeks and glazed eyes. Gil wanted to kiss her again, but was worried about losing control plus his conscience nagged that he was taking advantage of an emotionally shell shocked Sara. His worst impulses however barraged him with clips from dreams and fantasies embellished with the remembered sensation of being pressed against her skin and lips.

It was hard for her to breathe Gil's fingers were wrapped around her upper arms and his thumbs were brushing the front of her tank top just above her breasts. Licking her lips, she tried to focus on his words, but found her eyes riveted on the shapes his mouth was making instead of on the words he was speaking. With a firm shake of her head she tried to shake off the daze his kisses had left her in.

"We need to talk before this goes any farther." He repeated.

"uhm." Gil was amused that Sara who had a habit of over talking around him, seemed unable to string together more than two words to form a complete sentence. It was nice to know he wasn't the only one affected by the kisses.

Releasing her arms he stepped back closing his eyes to banish the images of seducing Sara in the kitchen. It was too tempting to press her back against the counter, run his hands over her shoulders, down her back, past her waist and down over her buttocks to grip an upper thigh to lift her leg so he could settle in closer to her very center. It was hard to control the physical response to that idea, so he took another step back, but held onto her hands not wanting to break the connection.

After more than six years working side by side he should have mastered being near Sara, but now that he'd allowed that first break in the walls between them physically he felt like he was on a slippery slope or dry timber just needing a small spark to become engulfed in a forest fire.

"How about we head out to the other room and talk."

"Uhm okay?" Sara was still in shock that Gil Grissom had finally figured out what to do about this. The light inadvertent touches they'd shared in the past hadn't prepared her for the full force of their physical chemistry. Curling her fingers tighter around his hand she followed him out of the kitchen.

* * *

"So I get why you choose a murder mystery for the theme, but a Western costume party seems an odd choice for your son. Gil struck me as a kind of serious guy." Laura felt she didn't know the man well enough to judge, but this kind of party seemed out of character.

"When he was little he adored Roy Rogers. It was almost impossible to get him out of his cowboy clothes. He even sent away for a certificate of ownership for Trigger when he was four."

"I remember Sara mentioning that someone had framed one."

"I want Gil to remember something happy right now. Like how much he enjoyed his time with his father. The way Isaac used to take Gil every Saturday to the matinee to watch Roy and Dale. His father was older when we had Gil and died when he was still a child, but they were inseparable before that."

Laura could picture the happy family. She imagined Isaac looking a lot like Gidget's father, posing with Ginny who in fifties dress and hair would've resembled Donna Reed and their adorable little boy in cowboy hat and boots with bright eyes and huge grin. The image was a reminder of the family she'd never had and had always wanted.

Laura felt the tears forming as she remembered the first time Sara had been placed in her arms. She'd promised to be a better mother for Sara than she had, to give her that kind of happy childhood, she'd wished for but hadn't had. While Laura hadn't made the same mistakes as her own mother, it was hard knowing that her own daughter also probably longed for a different childhood, family and mother. The resemblance to the girl Sara had been remarkable, except that where Amy was quiet and still, Sara had been gregarious and energetic.

Watching Amy coloring was like looking through a window into the past. Sara had been coloring just like that at their kitchen table the day their lives changed forever. Laura was cooking dinner only half listening to the pair sitting at the table. Sara was telling her father about her day while he paid the bills. A soft knock at the front door disturbed the moment. It was the last time they'd been that kind of family.

The knock had been a police officer to notify them that Sara's brother died in a car crash. He was only seventeen. Looking back it was obvious that on that day she had lost her family. Each member of the Sidle family each masked their grief in different ways. Sara retreated into the silent world of books. She might have gotten her little girl back, but she'd already down the road to alcoholism by adding just a splash of vodka to her orange or grape juice to relax herself. It wasn't long before she was getting drunk regularly. Not that she'd been the only one drinking away the pain. Her husband had been mixing pills and gin. Sara became even more reclusive once the violence started. Eventually it escalated until she'd killed her husband, lost her daughter and freedom.

Ginny reached out a hand and patted Laura's hand. The sadness was more evident now on the younger woman's face. If the expressions of pain and loss Laura was wearing was any indication than there were true horrors in the Sidle past. Looking from Laura to Amy and back to the other adult. "Laura if you ever want to talk about it…"

A quick nod was her only reply, but Ginny watched as she masked her feeling quickly and slipped back into discussing what kind of cake they should have at the party.

* * *

When they sat down in the living room they each sat at one end of the sofa. Sara was liked that Gil was granting her space while Grissom hoped she didn't think he was trying to runaway from what had just happened by sitting at the other end of the sofa. "Gil if that's the way you handle hysterical women; I think I'll have to lose control more often."

His mind conjured up an image from his fantasies to match her words. Sara with her dark curls fanned out against light colored cotton pillowcases gazing back at him. Her face relaxed, dark espresso brown eyes heavy, her lips slightly parted mouth forming his name and soft sounds as another wave of pleasure crested over her body, as he guided her through another orgasm.

She watched his expression change as his lips formed a seductive smile. It was one she hadn't seen much since those early days in Las Vegas. If she had to pinpoint the moment she'd started seriously falling for him it was when he'd given her that same smile after duct taping her wrists together to help her prove a theory during a kidnapping case. Part of her wanted to throw caution to the wind, ask him what he was thinking, but mostly she was afraid to do or say anything that might ruin this moment.

"I didn't kiss you because you were hysterical."

"Then why did you kiss me."

"Do you know the first thing my mother asked after she saw us together?"

Sara shook her head unable to guess what Mama G might have said. "What?"

"Why weren't married yet. She said that watching us together she knew how we felt about each other." Sara looked down at her hands, she hadn't expected him say that, while it wasn't a declaration of love, at least he admitted to feeling something. "I need to know how you want things to be. If you had a magic wand and could make everything the way you desired, how would you want this to turn out?"

Scooting closer she looked into his eyes and took a risk. It wasn't much, but it was the closest she'd come to admitting what she wanted to him and to herself. "I'd want you and Amy to be mine forever."

* * *

AN: So what did you think? Let me know because your feedback so far has been invaluable to fleshing out the story. I welcome questions, comments, insights and requests. 


	21. Chapter 21

_DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own either CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them. I wish I did, but I don't so I'm just borrowing them for a little recreation or re-creation depending on where Season 6 takes us._

_AN: This is a very short chapter for me, but I wanted to post an update and get things on this story moving again. Thanks for your patience and understanding._

_

* * *

"I want to attend every school function. I want to keep my job, but I don't want to be like Catherine scheduling time for Amy around a case. I want it all Grissom," She gave a sad sort of laugh as she shook her head, "but we both know you don't have a magic wand, I'm not a fairy princess and that the Stones were right. You can't always get what you want because nothing has really changed; you still can't risk your career for me and they're still taking Amy away." _

"I never told you that."

"No, but I was there when you told Dr. Luhrie." Sara bit her lip, but he could see the tears forming in her eyes. "I've known for years that you couldn't do it."

"That hasn't been true for a while now."

She lifted an eyebrow in a questioning expression that seemed to silently say 'Oh really? Because it still sure felt true to her.'

"I've changed. We've changed." Needing to be closer to her, he scooted down the couch until their knees touched as they faced each other. With one hand he reached out and touched the side of her face, brushing hair back and grazing her cheek. "When you were suspended I realized how big a part you play in my happiness, but I didn't know how to fix things then."

"So you do now?"

He nodded and smiled. "Yeah, I've got my priorities straight now." Closing the gap his lips claimed hers again.

"Gil?" She asked when he finally let her up for air. "What is it you want?"

"Your smile to be the first and last thing I see everyday. To spend the rest of my life making you smile and showing you not only how much I love you, but how much I regret not doing something about it earlier. To give Amy the kind of family and childhood we didn't have."

Sara sat back stunned. "You're serious?"

"Honey the Stones were also right when they said if you try sometimes you just might find you just might find you get what you need. I need you and I know what to do about this."

"What?"

"Marry me."

"Gil?"

"Sara it's the perfect solution. Together we could adopt Amy and give her a real family."

"What about work?"

"What about it? Keep working or not it would be your choice, but if you didn't you could stay at home and be the kind of mother you'd want to be."

She pushed out of his arms, "What are you suggesting, a marriage of convenience?"

"No Sara. I'm suggesting that we stopdancing around each other and our feelings. You've been my student, friend and colleague. I care a lot about you. You care about me and we both adore Amy. We could be so much more together than we are apart.It has to be easier staying together than staying apart has been.Don't you see this solves all the problems?"

All Sara could see was this was a train wreck waiting to happen, but if it allowed her to keep Amy and have Gil even for a little while then she could deal with the pain later. "Ok. Let's do it. Let's get married."


	22. Chapter 22

_DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own either CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them. I wish I did, but I don't so I'm just borrowing them for a little recreation. The songs quoted below also belong to their creators and publishing companies._

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: Italicized words_ represent the translation of signs used in American Sign Language since ASL doesn't use the same grammar as spoken English. If it is _italicized_ and in quotes than it's someone speaking as they sign.

This chapter is dedicated to my wonderful reviewers who took the time to tell me what they thought and reminded me that folks were waiting for an update. I'm sorry it's taken so long to get this up, but we're currently experiencing a heat wave, it's been 100 – 112 here and it took 4 complete rewrites to finally get to this chapter. Hope you enjoy!

"So how do you want to do this?" Sara asked hoping that if she just moved fast enough that he wouldn't have a chance to back out. After more than a decade she was familiar with this dance because too many times they'd taken one step forward, only to have him take three steps back. She wanted this and he seemed to want it too; to create a life together and a family with Amy, but Sara feared it was more likely he'd finally break her heart by pulling back because he hadn't changed, not really.

"We should probably do it soon Gil, but I'm just not up to thinking about it right now." Sara leaned her head into the couch emotionally and physically exhausted.

Looking at her profile, tracing the rise and fall of fair skin and dark hair he wished he'd done it differently. The words of his impromptu proposal had slipped out, not that he hadn't meant them; it was just Sara deserved better than a shoddy two word proposal. Any other woman would have long ago given up on a reclusive, middle-aged geek, but not Sara, her love had sustained them both. It was only right that his proposal should have done justice to those feelings.

His mind began compiling a list of what it should have been; a romantic setting, his grandmother's ring and words that conveyed his feelings for her. Silently he swore he'd make it up to her. Gently he brushed the hair off her face, leaned down to kiss her forehead and her eyes drifted closed.

"Honey why don't you take a nap, we can handle all the details later. In Vegas finding a time and place for a wedding will be easy enough."

Sara opened one eye to study his expression trying to decide if he was retreating or not. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Now will you take a nap now before Mom brings Amy home?"

Standing up she held out her hand, "You're the one who worked last night, so I will if you will." In some ways this moment felt more important to their future than his impromptu proposal. So when his warm hand engulfed hers, Sara smiled and led him to her bedroom. This would be the first time they'd been in her bed together, but another step forward had been taken. Maybe, just maybe, her heart whispered, he wouldn't retreat this time.

"So what kind of wedding did you want?" Sara asked once they were both settled on the bed.

"Barbara De Angelis said that 'The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It's a choice you make, not just on your wedding day, but over and over again.' It has taken me a long time to make this choice, but now I have, I'm not going any where."

"So you don't need a church wedding?"

"All I need is you, an officiator, our family and our friends, everything else is optional. I just hope we can skip the Elvis impersonators and drive through wedding chapels please."

Sara giggled remembering the Elvis and alien wedding chapels from that case years ago. She yawned as she answered, but he heard her anyway. "Deal."

Within minutes she was asleep, rolling onto his side, propping his head up on his hand, he was content to just lie there watching Sara. In sleep the walls and masks she wore fell away, revealing the woman thought she looked like she had when they first met. An intoxicating combination of vulnerability, strength, innocence and maturity. It was that odd combination that had attracted him, but ethical concerns of getting involved with a student that kept him from acting on the initial attraction. Instead he'd chosen to take the time to build a friendship. The years of carefully cultivated friendship was nearly destroyed by the years in Vegas as her supervisor as they tried to reconcile personal feelings within a professional relationship. For the first time since he'd met her Grissom finally felt they were moving in the right direction, sort of.

There were things he wanted to do, but he was finding that lying down with Sara was relaxing and comfortable, so was not inclined to move or go to sleep. Since he wasn't working that night he could sleep later when his mind was less active. Right now it was too busy cataloging feelings while reconciling his past and planning their future.

Sara rolled over, curling into him until she was molded against him. Gil had heard more than one complaint about his physical and emotional distance in his relationships, but with Sara there was none of the awkwardness he'd experienced in the past sharing personal space with someone. Instead it had felt surprisingly natural to wrap an arm around her waist, pull her closer and spoon around her. Sara just sighed contentedly and snuggled closer.

Breathing in her subtle scent he smiled into her hair at the thought that if they were married he could wake up like this every morning. That thought just reminded him of the things that needed to be done, but he didn't pull away from her until he heard the key in the front door lock, announcing that his mother and Amy were finally home. Even then he pulled away with some reluctance. Moving carefully so he didn't disturb Sara, Gil crept out of the room.

_Hey beautiful._ Gil signed as the Amy ran across the front room to greet him.

Ginny couldn't help smiling as her son, who she'd long ago accepted might never give her grandchildren, swung up the little girl. To keep Amy from spoiling the surprise party, Ginny quickly asked. _How's Sara?_

Balancing Amy on his hip he used his free hand to make the sign for sleeping.

_Can I take my nap with Mommy?_ Amy asked the adults looking from Gil to Mama G and back again.

_Sure. _ Gil answered. _Be right back_. He signed carrying Amy into Sara's bedroom. After dropping a quick kiss on her head, he tucked her into bed in the space he'd just vacated. He grinned as Sara, who'd had so many fears about being a parent, rolled over so that even in sleep she could wrap Amy into a hug that conveyed safety and love. Safe and secure the child was able to quickly drift off to sleep. He watched the pair for a couple of minutes before re-joining his mother in the living room.

_What's wrong Gil?_

He didn't bother asking her how she knew something was wrong, his mother just always knew. Sighing, Gil began by summarizing their meeting with Jeannie and her insinuation that the other couple had better odds.

_You have a plan._

His mother hadn't asked a question, she'd made a statement. Rather than sharing details about kissing Sara and asking her to marry him. He nodded and smiled. _Mom, I need your help. Can you stay with Amy tonight?_

_Yes. Are you going to tell me why?_

_No. I love you and I'll be back later._

Ginny Grissom didn't ask any questions, just silently accepted when he kissed her check, grabbed his keys and walked out the door. She sent a silent prayer heavenward for the first times in year she actually had hope of seeing her son happy and she might even become a Grandmother some day.

Leaving Sara's apartment, Grissom's first stop was a florist shop where he looked around at the different flowers before deciding what to get her. The display of roses caught his attention, glancing at the sign posted near them he noticed the meanings they had attributed to each color.

While the yellow roses were bright and cheerful, according to the poster they were given as a sign of friendship. While he felt that it wasn't all he felt. Red symbolized passion and desire, but it was too early for that. White was loyalty and platonic love, he felt the first, but the latter definitely didn't apply after those scorching kisses in the kitchen. Finally there were the pink roses that were so delicate and supposed to mean admiration.

Scanning the blooms again his eye was caught by a multi-colored rose which the little card underneath identified as the Chicago Peace Rose. It was the perfect choice since it had all the colors and could convey all the meanings. Each bloom ranged in variegated colors from ivory to yellow became coral, peach and orange until it became a deep pink with highlights of darker pinks verging on red. After getting a dozen he considered the sentiment carefully before quickly writing 'From Grissom.'

Rather than risking the blooms being damaged by the August heat, he dropped them off at Sara's before heading onto the next item on his mental list.

Lifting the bouquet Sara breathed in the scent of the roses. The scent calmed the butterflies in her stomach and she felt at peace. Looking around she noticed she was standing on a beach. It wasn't just any beach she recognized the shoreline, it was the favorite beach of her childhood in Tamales Bay. The sand was cool and damp under her toes, but a nice contrast to the warm sun on her bare arms.

Sara hadn't been on this stretch of beach in years. She didn't question how she got here, choosing to just enjoy the scenery. In the distance she could make out a figure walking towards her. From this distance she could tell it was a man with dark hair and she was reminded of Nick. It was only as she closed the distance that she recognized the man. It was her father, not the violent alcoholic, but the man he'd been before her brother's death.

"Daddy?"

"You look beautiful, Baby Girl."

"I don't understand? This doesn't make sense."

His hand brushed her hair, "Sara for once don't try and analyze what's happening, just accept it on faith. We don't have much time and there are things I want to tell you."

"Daddy, I don't understand."

He sighed, "I know you don't Baby, but I hope you will." They began walking side by side along the beach. "Sara you can't keep running away from life because you're afraid of being like Mom and me. Baby, you've learned to do what we couldn't; you shared your pain with someone else. You've overcome so much; please don't shut out the people who love you now."

Sara stopped, her mouth dropped open in a small gasp, she couldn't think of anything to say so he just continued. "Sugar you and Gil are not your Momma and me. Don't let your fear keep you from being happy and loved." He brushed her face again. "I'm so proud of you Baby Girl."

She blinked away the tears, when she opened her eyes he was gone before she had a chance to respond. Closing her eyes again she tried to reclaim the calm she'd had at the beginning of the dream. She sensed Gil's presence, but it was the soft brush of his lips against hers that left her smiling. Opening her eyes she found herself still alone on the beach staring at the footprints in the sand, she was reminded of a George Benson song she'd heard a long time ago.

"Love's a game of chance  
I've come to understand  
What my greatest fear is  
Someday you'll disappear  
Like footprints in the sand"

Opening her eyes, Sara noticed that the roses from her dream where real and sitting on her nightstand. They were beautiful and her favorite, she wondered if Grissom had known that. She also wondered if the kiss in the dream had been real as real as the flowers. Looking closer she spotted the bit of white tucked in among the roses. Pulling it out she recognized his handwriting and smiled at the simple sentiment on the envelope, 'From Grissom.'

Opening the envelope and unfolding the note she read what he had written. It was so typically Grissom to use a quote when he didn't know what to say, she thought.

"Sara, Sara  
It's all so clear, I could never forget

Sara, Sara  
Loving you is the one thing I'll never regret."

Turning it over she read the words he'd written himself. "Dylan was right. Please allow me to make you dinner at the townhouse, be there by seven. Mom will watch Amy. We have lots to discuss and celebrate. Love Gil."

Sara thought back to that Benson song and remembered the next two lines.

"But life was meant to live

And love was meant to give"

For the first time since reading the summons that morning Sara felt hope for the future.


	23. Chapter 23

_DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own either CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them. I wish I did, but I don't so I'm just borrowing them for a little. All songs and quotes belong to their creators._

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: Italicized words_ represent the translation of signs used in American Sign Language since ASL doesn't use the same grammar as spoken English. If it is _italicized_ and in quotes than it's someone speaking as they sign.

* * *

Gil Grissom hadn't been back to the college for the deaf since his successful surgery, but he wasn't surprised to find it exactly the same. The secretary had been a little miffed about him insisting on seeing the dean without an appointment, but something about him must have conveyed his intention to wait all day if he had too. 

Dr. Jane Gilbert stood up from behind her desk. The slim blonde smiled at him as she stepped around her desk to greet him. Like everything else Dr. Jane Gilbert hadn't changed much over the years. Her hand was small and cool when his larger hand closed around it. As the handshake ended she silently directed him to sit in one of the two chairs that faced each other so they could talk easier.

"_Gil how nice to see you. It's been a long time Gil._

_Yes. _

_Your surgery was successful then._

_Yes. _He sat so one ankle rested on the knee of his other leg, giving the large file a place to rest.

_So what brings you here?_

_I need your help._

_Oh?_ The last time he'd asked for her help had been for classes on lip reading, but he'd indicated the surgery was successful. Her expression showed she was very confused. _With what?_

_The Chandlers. _

Jane's forehead furrowed as she tried to puzzle out his meaning. _I don't understand._

"_Last week at the Chandlers, my Mother introduced you to Sara and the little girl she's adopting. You mentioned some of your concerns."_

_I remember._ Jane blushed, as an advocate for the rights of the hearing impaired she had strong feelings about issues that affected them. She recalled that that day she'd been more passionate about her position than normal, after meeting with the DeBussey's who were very frustrated by their own experience with the adoption system.

_Well now the Chandlers are blocking the adoption and Amy's surgery._

_I didn't know. I'm not sure how I can help Gil._

_Be an advocate for Amy, if after hearing everything, you think she'd be better with Sara than will you please just talk to them. Knowing all the facts they might change their mind._

_Why does it concern you?_

_This lawsuit is hurting my family._ Grissom paused for a moment it was the first time he'd actually acknowledged to anyone a truth Catherine had shared years ago; a family had formed around him, but Sara and Amy were a family he was creating. We were happy, _Jane and this lawsuit isn't fair to us or Amy. _

Jane couldn't quite identify the earnest expression on Gil Grissom's face as he signed his plea, but something about it made her agree to listen. She could decide what to do next once she had all the facts.

_Explain it to me and tell me about your family._

It would be hard he thought and there might be some ethical concerns about showing this file to her, but Grissom needed to understand the hell that Amy had already survived and the hard work it had taken for Sara to get her to this point. Jane needed to see that this was a frivolous lawsuit that was just wasting everyone's precious time and energy, both of which would be better focused on Amy

---

Sara was finding it hard not to grin each time she read the card or looked at the roses. Gil was the first person to quote Bob Dylan to her romantically. Of course she was familiar with the song; Dylan had been a family favorite when she was growing up. Rereading the card she felt her heart lighten, like an invisible weight had been lifted.

"Sara, Sara. It's all so clear, I could never forget. Sara, Sara.  
Loving you is the one thing I'll never regret."

She was glad he'd chosen to tell her that, even if it was in a quote. Based on their history it would have been too easy to doubt the declarations of love and proposal from this morning, assuming they'd melt like morning fog in the bright sunlight. Sara was letting the quote and his invitation reassure her battered heart, that this time they were making headway into exploring whatever 'this' was.

Careful not to disturb Amy sat up, thinking about the song as some of the other parts came to mind. Wondering if any of the other lyrics applied to their situation, she sang the words she remembered and hummed the parts that she couldn't.

"Sara, Sara. You must forgive me my unworthiness.  
You always responded when I needed your help  
You gimme a map and a key to your door."

Humming through the verse to the next section.

"Sara, Sara. Glamorous nymph with an arrow and bow  
Sara, Sara. Don't ever leave me, don't ever go." Well she carried a gun not a bow, but she didn't have any plans of letting go."

The words and their possible meaning resonated within her heart and soul, but her logical brain wanted to hold out for more evidence. Those thoughts were violently shoved aside by the insistent ringing of the house phone. Climbing out of bed she went into the front room to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Ms. Sidle? My name is Rosemary Sanchez. I was appointed Amy's child advocate by Judge Schneider. I was wondering if I could meet with you and Amy this afternoon."

"Any time and any place is fine."

"I can be at your apartment in about 15 min."

"Sure, see you then."

Glancing around Sara was relieved to see the apartment was tidy and neat. Ginny had been watching Sara throughout the phone call, but had respected the younger woman's privacy and didn't read her lips.

"_What's up?"_

"Amy's advocate is coming here in a couple of minutes."

"_From what Gil said that is the first step to getting this resolved."_

Sara nodded, but couldn't explain that each step scared the hell out of her. For each step there was a positive and negative result. Going to court, where she could either loose or be given Amy forever. Amy's surgery, which if it didn't work would leave her deaf for life. Even getting married to Gil and everything that came after that seemed to promise either a happy or sad outcome.

She still felt better about all of it after her dream conversation with her father, because it was easy to agree with her subconscious that Gil wasn't her father and she wasn't her mother. Basing her fears on her past was denying them a chance at happiness together. It just didn't change the cynical part that reminded her of the time Grissom quoted Wilson Mizner. 'The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.'


	24. Chapter 24

_DISCLAIMERS: Afraid I don't own either CBS, CSI, any of their affiliates or anything neat and wonderful like them. I wish I did, but I don't so I'm just borrowing them for a little recreation or re-creation depending on where Season 6 takes us._

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: Italicized words_ represent the translation of signs used in American Sign Language since ASL doesn't use the same grammar as spoken English. If it is _italicized_ and in quotes than it's someone speaking as they sign.

* * *

Standing in the kitchen doorway, Sara watched the scene before her with a small smile, mostly because it was sweet, but also because smiling stopped the gag reflex. Amy was standing on step stool elbow deep in ground meat and spices with a huge smile. She was helping Mama G make dinner.

"_What are you cooking?" _Sara signed when she caught Ginny's eye.

"_Spaghetti and meatballs."_

"Her favorite."

Ginny smiled. _I remember._ One of the first conversations Sara and Mama G had revolved around Amy's desire to eat nothing but spaghetti and meatballs. Mama G had listened without judgment before offering a bit of motherly wisdom, pointing out that Amy wasn't starving from the diet and that she would soon grow out of it once she felt more secure. Sara had been grateful when the advice was proven correct a few days later.

Tapping Amy's shoulder to get the child's attention, Sara tried to ignore the fresh ground meat. "_It's time for me to go to dinner. I don't know if I'll be back by bedtime." _Sara explained before kissing Amy's curly head goodbye. "Ginny, you're sure you don't mind?"

"_I'm sure Sara. You and Gil enjoy dinner. We'll be fine even if you spend the night."_

Sara wasn't sure how to respond to Gil's mother; she wasn't even sure what to think on a subject that had been taboo for so long, deciding that silence was the best reply. She was just grateful that Amy hadn't seen those signs flash over her head; tonight her nerves couldn't have handled trying to explain the birds and the bees to Amy.

Stopping at the door she looked back over her shoulder, it was like her kitchen had suddenly morphed into a Hallmark commercial. As Grandma Ginny passed onto the next generation the family recipes and traditions, including her special meatball making technique to Amy. A quick glance at her watch reminded her that she needed to be walking out the door if she didn't want to be late for her date with Gil.

"_Okay. You have fun. Call if you need us, we'll be at Gil's townhouse." _

Ginny nodded, making shooing motions before, both she and Amy turned their attention back to making dinner.

Sara took the hint grabbing her purse and keys. As she walked to her car she thought about how the days seem to have flown by. Today, like the others since Ginny's arrival, had been nice; not as nice as when Gil was with them to enjoy it, but nice. There was a relaxing calm, peace and quiet to this routine that she enjoyed, but she missed work too. She missed the puzzles and the team, but not as much as she expected too. It was almost like a perfect dream and Sara wished they didn't have to return to reality, but soon enough she would have to return to work full-time and Ginny would go home.

Preparing to back out her car out, Sara caught sight of her reflection in the rearview mirror and was pleased with her appearance. Sara hadn't been able to decide what to wear, in the past she would have just grabbed jeans and a shirt, but tonight she'd wanted to look nice. So she'd resorted to an old trick, just blindly grabbing a hanger, determined to wear whatever she pulled out.

She'd pulled out the light green sundress she'd worn the day he'd met Amy. After slipping into it, she'd realized it was an appropriate choice since that was the day their lives had started to change. Green amber earrings and a coordinating necklace made the sundress look dressier than it had the last time she'd worn it.

It felt a little surreal after so many years of waiting and watching to finally have him make a move. Shaking herself out of the reverie she pushed down on the accelerator putting the vehicle in motion, she needed to get started if she wanted to get to the townhouse on time.

* * *

The metallic parts of the lighter struck against each other before forming a perfect flame. He held the flame in place until the wick caught fire, than moved it to the candle's twin until both were bathing the table in a soft glow. The lights had been lowered to set a relaxed romantic mood that he hoped was supported by the table setting. Closing the lighter he took a step back to see if anything was missing.

In the center of the white table cloth sat a crystal vase with a single red rose, flanked on either side by the candles. The wine glasses weren't Waterford crystal, the dishes weren't porcelain china and the silverware wasn't sterling, but he didn't think Sara would mind using regular ones. She wasn't focused on the material and fashionable; she still believed it was the thought that counted.

Gil Grissom might be a scientist, but in many ways he was also a romantic. It had taken a little planning and some effort, but he'd pulled together a romantic dinner for two worthy of any Hollywood chick flick. This was step one of his plan to make up for the shoddy proposal. His mental review of the plan was interrupted by the soft rap of knuckles on his door announcing Sara had arrived.

Sara felt the blush flaming her checks as one look at Gil had his mother's parting statement reverberating in her mind like ripples in a pond. He looked good, damn good, in a creamy colored linen suit that while dressier than his work clothes was less formal than his court suit. He'd selected a light blue shirt brought out his eyes.

"You look very handsome tonight, Gil."

"While you are simply breathtaking." Coming from another man it would have sounded like a corny line, but from him it sounded more like a scientific truth and it made her feel beautiful. It wasn't the first time he'd done that either. She still remembered sitting at the ice rink, bundled up, knowing that she didn't look her best, but feeling beautiful just because of something he'd said.

"Let me take your sweater." His warm fingers grazed the top of her collarbone as he pulled the white cardigan off. Sara closed her eyes and focused on remembering to breathe and enjoy. That simple touch had been a reminder of their mutual chemistry and the desire to explore it. Gil hung up the sweater with one hand, while the other glided over her shoulder, down her arm until he could entwine his fingers with hers. Then with a gentle tug he was pulling her deeper into the townhouse. She couldn't quite suppress her grin that she was seeing the charming, debonair side he didn't express very often.

"The main course isn't quite ready, but it should be done before we've finished with the first course."

"Sounds wonderful." He let go of her hand to pull out her chair, helping her sit before stepping into the kitchen. Returning moments later carrying a tray with a bottle of wine and two salad plates. Sara wasn't sure what surprised her more that Gil had cooked more than one course or that he'd created this beautiful table setting that looked like something out of a Martha Stewart magazine.

When he set the plain white salad plate in front of her, it was obvious that each part of dinner had been given the same intense focus to detail usually reserved for crime scenes. The salad looked picture perfect, the dark green leaves glistened from the dressing he'd drizzled across them, then topped with fresh whole raspberries and slivers of almonds.

She carefully smoothed the napkin in her lap, while watching him pour them each a glass of wine. After sitting he raised his glass in toast.

"Someone once said, 'You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet, but sometimes you meet those people you can't forget.' To me you have always been unforgettable."

"The same could be said of you, Gil." Their eyes locked over the table for a minute, as both let down their guards enough to let the other see the depth of feeling they'd masked for years. Sara found a small sip of wine helped ease the lump in her throat so she could take small bites of the salad, almonds and raspberries. The sweet and sour vinaigrette was a bit of surprise. "Hmm. This is very good."

"I'm glad you like it. It's a spinach salad with a raspberry vinaigrette."

In the years since coming to Vegas, Sara had forgotten just how easily they'd communicated in the past. Gil was as charming and articulate as she remembered. She hardly noticed the way he guided the conversation through many different topics, carefully avoiding certain ones; the lawsuits, work and marriage.

The identification of the salad led to his sharing where he'd gotten the recipe from; his cousin Theresa's wedding, who he explained was his mother's brother Phil's youngest daughter. That started him on a story about spending summers in Chicago going to baseball games with his cousins. The conversation only slowed when their plates and glasses were empty.

Gil cleared the table, she watched him in the kitchen; there was efficiency in his movements she found appealing. The salad plates were quickly rinsed and put in the dishwasher, leaving the counter clear for the casserole he was pulling out of the oven.

Sara felt happy, the salad had been delicious and the smells from the oven almost guaranteed a fantastic main course, but mostly she was happy because he'd shared more with her over a simple salad than he had in all the meals the team shared together. He was opening up to her again, letting her know him and like the roses it was reassuring her that he didn't regret where they were going.

"That looks as good as it smells." Gil smiled at the praise as he set their plates down, before refilling their wine glasses. It had been a long time since he'd really cooked for anyone. Over the years the post shift omelets and screwdrivers with Catherine had happened less and less frequently. Meeting Sara's smile with one of his own, he knew he wanted to change that.

"So what are you feeding me now?"

"Baked penne pasta topped with diced shitake mushrooms in a creamy, buttery sauce." He hadn't told her specifically that the dish was vegetarian, but based on her smile he could tell she knew.

"Thank you." He shrugged, a little embarrassed, because he was willing to give up a whole lot more than meat to make her happy. He hadn't made a list, but his response to Ecklie's demand to firing Sara had shown him how wrong his admission to Dr. Luhrie was. For Sara he could take the risk and accept the new life she offered.

"So how was your day? Did you sleep okay after I left?"

"I slept okay. Thank you for the roses. How did you know those are my favorite? I don't recall ever telling you that."

"I have my ways." Grissom smirked, instead of admitting he'd just gotten the ones that best fit what he wanted to say.

"Is this another technique you're keeping under wraps Dr. Grissom, like the recipe for Red Creeper?"

"Yes and if you're very good young padawan, I might share them with you someday."

Sara just laughed at the Star Wars reference and took another bite of the pasta. It was nice to just enjoy each other's company and pretend for a little while that they didn't have any worries with work or Amy. It wasn't until they were sitting on his couch, sipping wine while Mozart played in the background that they broached those topics they'd avoided at dinner.

"This afternoon Rosie Sanchez came over, apparently Jeannie was able to get Judge Schneider to agree to let her be Amy's advocate." Grissom listened as Sara explained how the visit went and that she and Amy had both liked the Latina. "Before she left I gave her all the research I'd done after Amy was diagnosed and she told me she had appointments to talk to Dr. Roth and the Chandlers. She figures she can make a recommendation in a couple days. "

Now would have been a good time to tell her about his visit to Jane Gilbert, but he decided against it, if he didn't tell her, than she could testify that she hadn't known about it if it came up. Gently taking her glass out of her hands he set it down on the coffee table next to his own.

"Sara we need to talk about this morning, there were some things that I think still need to be said and discussed."

Sara's stomach dropped, this was the retreat she'd been waiting for. Damn him, she thought bitterly, for making her believe that this time he wouldn't, that this time they'd be able to move forward. She blinked away the tears and tried to focus on what he was saying.

He took her hands in his one of his, using his other hand to pull something out of his jacket pocket. His grandmother's ring slipped easily onto her finger, it perfectly almost as if it had been made for her. The ring was simple and rather plain to what he could have chosen, but he thought the design rather fit Sara's style.

"This is my Grandmother's engagement ring; she married my Grandfather in Paris in 1925." His thumb stroked the ring as she watched him silently.

"I've found it so difficult over the years to say what I'm thinking or feeling, so I've gotten used to letting quotations speak for me." Sara nodded in understanding.

"Look, how this ring encompasseth thy finger, even so thy breast encloseth my poor heart. Wear both of them, for both of them are thine, and if thy poor devoted servant may, but beg one favour at thy gracious hand, thou dost confirm his happiness for ever."

Sara recognized the quote from Shakespeare's Richard III and tilted her head a little in a silent question wondering where he was going with this.

"Become my wife."

Sara blinked in surprise; she certainly hadn't expected Grissom to manage two proposals in less than twelve hours, though this one was much nicer than the first. "My answer's the same as it was this morning, Gil."

He grinned back at her. "Sounds like we have a wedding to plan." He kissed her lips gently and stood quickly. "I'll be right back."

Sara decided to take the time to study the ring he'd slipped onto her finger. It was a light colored metal maybe white gold or platinum with five round cut gemstones. The center diamond was largest flanked by a smaller pair of sapphires and two smaller diamonds on either end. It was beautiful, perfect and as a family heirloom not something he'd given lightly.

Grissom returned carrying his laptop, a book and a couple of magazines. Handing everything, but the computer to Sara he opened a file on the laptop. Sara's eyes widened at the book and magazine titles he'd handed her, these were wedding planning guides. Once the computer was on he opened a file. It looked like an itemized list. Sara looked at the pieces of evidence in front of her and realized Gil wasn't planning an impromptu Las Vegas quickie ceremony before a marriage of convenience, but the real thing.


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: All rights to CSI still belong to CBS and their creators.

AN: Sorry for the delay in posting, but it took a bunch of revisions to get this to this point. With luck the next chapter will be posted in the next few days. Thanks for hanging in there!

* * *

Flipping open one of the magazines to the place marked, Sara glanced from the article about choosing a reception site to the man sitting next to her. Stunned she found herself staring at him; it was like suddenly in the last twelve hours he'd been abducted by aliens and replaced by someone she didn't recognize. It was hard not to shake him and demand to know who he was and what he'd done with the 'real' Gil Grissom. 

"You seem to have given this some thought." She said quietly, staring at the typed detailed list.

"Would it surprise you to learn I've thought about us a lot over the years?" He turned slightly, smiling when she just nodded a little.

"Well I have. Over the years I've come up with a dozen reasons not to act, but these last few days with you and Amy helped me see what I was missing and to realize that all my reasons were nothing more than pathetic excuses."

Sara remained silent unsure how to respond; she didn't know which bothered her more that he'd thought about them like that, yet never acted or that he could reverse his position on their relationship so suddenly.

"Shakespeare was right you know." He cupped her cheek, tilting her face so their eyes met. "He said, 'Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.' But I'm not afraid anymore Sara."

Her eyes fluttered closed, as a single tear escaped to be swiped away as his thumb caressed her cheek. Gil continued stroking her face barely grazing her skin as he slowly closed the distance between them. The inches turned to centimeters, until his lips settled on hers.

This smallest of contacts was a hint of what was to come, as they explored the differences between them; her lips were soft and slick, against his slightly rougher ones. The kiss was tender and romantic, but without the hesitancy she'd expected. When he pulled back she stared in his eyes, surprised at the depth of feeling she saw reflected there.

"Sweetheart, I know what I want to do about this now." His gaze shifted back to the lap top, but she was too distracted by how he kept rubbing his thumb back and forth over her left ring finger to focus on the screen.

"So how do you feel about getting married tomorrow evening before shift?"

"Tomorrow?" Looking at the screen she noticed he'd already filled in the first item: date and time of wedding. "Are you sure? I mean that soon?"

"Well the Paris hotel was able to squeeze us into a last minute cancellation of their twilight package. So we could have a small wedding on the observation deck, but there is a twelve guest limit."

Grissom toggled over to the website, looking at the photo of the bridal couple, with the lights of the strip twinkling in the background, Sara looked at him and smiled. "It sounds perfect."

Switching to a different page he opened the guest list he'd started. "Because of the guest limit we can't invite everyone, so I was just thinking just inviting the team and Brass to join Amy and our mothers for the ceremony and a dinner reception."

Sara smiled and nodded, it was exactly what she would have chosen and also felt right; they wouldn't be having a quickie Vegas ceremony, but creating a memory she would treasure for a lifetime. She watched him type the information into the line.

"I'm glad." Tapping the return key he scrolled down to the next line on his list. "I've got both a tux and a suit. So, it's your choice how formal it is. Which one do you prefer?"

Sara weighed the options; she loved seeing Grissom in his suit when he went to court, but could easily imagine how handsome he'd look in a tuxedo. As she tried to imagine walking down the aisle with him she was struck by how strong her desire to have him wear the formal black evening clothes. "Definitely the tux."

He'd seen the flare of desire when Sara made her pronouncement and nodded as he added it to the list.

"Will you need a dress?"

Sara sighed and nodded, she hated shopping, but there wasn't time to order it online. .

"Well Catherine could help with that if you'd like. I usually get her help, because she makes the whole process faster in the long run."

Pushing a lock of hair behind her ear, Sara thought about the idea. She didn't want to do it alone, that was the sort of task you did with friends and relatives, but her mother would be at work and Catherine was the closest thing she had to a girlfriend in Las Vegas, plus she was one of Gil's best friends. "I'll call and ask later. Anything else? Flowers, photographer, cake?"

"No. The wedding planner's already taken care of the rest."

"That's it?"

He smiled at her confused face and tapped the tip of her nose with his finger. "That's it, except for inviting everyone." Gil pointed out.

"Wow." Looking at her watch Sara bit her lip she really didn't want to go through this a bunch of times. "Well, I could call Mom and ask her to meet us at the apartment, that way we could tell her, Ginny and Amy all together. Then the team should be easy to catch together before shift."

"That sounds like a great plan Sweetheart. You make the call and I'll finish cleaning up the kitchen."

Sara watched him leave and tried to figure out what to tell her mother.


	26. Chapter 26

"Should I be worried that your mother invited mine over for dinner?" Sara asked Gil as she watched him confidently guide his car down the crowded strip towards her apartment with one hand.

"Maybe they're plotting ways to get us together." He teased giving the hand he held a reassuring squeeze. "Won't they be surprised that we beat them to it?"

His grin when he turned to face her was contagious and Sara's smile grew to match it. Resting her head on the seat she studied his profile against the passing Vegas lights; he seemed the same, but different. At the stop light he smiled at her again and it exactly like the way he used to smile at her, back when she first came to Vegas. It was as if the intervening years and the barriers erected on both sides had evaporated. The silence between them was peaceful and Sara closed her eyes, relieved she didn't feel an urge to over-talk.

As he pulled into the parking space, he glanced at Sara she'd been quiet for most of the drive and her eyes were closed; he half-hoped she'd fallen asleep because she needed the rest. Stroking the soft skin of her hand with his thumb, he marveled at how effortless and natural it was to love and protect Sara and Amy.

For so long he'd watched Sara convinced they were better off keeping their relationship completely professional. He realized how wrong he'd been when he talked to Luhrie. All those years without her he'd been lost, but now with Sara he found his true self again.

Sara sighed as she opened her eyes. "Maybe Warrick had the right idea, showing up fait accompli."

"It will be fine. Trust me."

She thought she should be more anxious about the future, but Gil's resolve and determination were banishing her fears. Gil hadn't let go of her hand since getting into the car, he hadn't retreated. Tears filled her eyes as she remembered the beautiful wedding he'd planned for them and for the first time in years it didn't feel like it was just her against the world.

"Will you be my Father?" Amy asked her eyebrows furling as she finger spelled the word instead of making the sign. Her initial excitement about the wedding had been squashed by terror.

Counseling had been helping, but Amy's reaction was a shock and Sara realized that it might never completely undo the damage inflicted by her biological father. She wanted to reassure her daughter, but didn't know what to say; she turned to Gil uncertain how to make things right this time surprised to see his hands were already moving fluidly. The signs he was making flashed too quickly for Sara to follow, so instead she paid attention to Amy's expression. She didn't know what he or his mother said, but whatever it was, it worked.

Amy seemed to bounce with renewed enthusiasm as she hugged Sara tightly only to pull away to start eagerly asking question after question; the next one started before the last one had even been answered. She asked about the wedding, if Gil would live with them, if Mama G was her Grandma now and could she get a dog.

Sara was saved trying to come up with answers for the rapid fire interrogation when the nearby anniversary clock rang out the hour. Sara hated putting a damper on the mood, but her little girl was up very late. _"__Come on, it's t__ime for bed__. T__omorrow's going to be a __very __busy day."__ She __held her out to take Amy to her room __before __any__form of __pr__otest could be made._

Gil waited until Sara and his mother had taken Amy out of the room before looking at Laura again. His fiancée's whole focus had been on her daughter when they made the announcement so she missed the look on her mother's face. Laura had quickly masked it with a smile and congratulations so that someone less familiar with Sara's facial expressions would have dismissed it. But he knew that look; he'd seen it too many times when he'd done or said something thoughtless that had hurt Sara.

"I need a cigarette."

He followed her out onto the front porch without question, watching as she leaned against the wall in a posture recognizable on prison yards across the country. Under her assessing stare Grissom unconsciously stood straighter and wondered what his future mother-in-law was thinking. She lit the cigarette, the end flaring brightly in the darkness as Laura breathed in deeply; she exhaled a cloud of smoke as she began speaking.

"It's funny Sara's spent most of her life trying not to be like me, only to wind up here; repeating my biggest mistake. My parents wanted to send me to one of those homes and give my baby up. I never told Sara that I only married her father so we could keep her brother. We were oil and water; whatever we shared in the beginning had died, but we stayed together for the kids. By the time we lost him; we made each other's life a living hell because we blamed each other for everything that had gone wrong. God, the fights were ugly and Sara was caught in the middle. What happens to her, if you lose Amy?"

"I've hired the best lawyer in Vegas and I'm doing everything I can to ensure that it doesn't happen. I love Sara and Amy. Their happiness is the most important thing and I will do whatever it takes to keep them safe and happy."

Something in his tone must have reassured her, because she smiled and stubbed out the cigarette. "I should be going, tell Sara I'll call in the morning." He opened his mouth to speak, but was silenced by her raised hand. "My baby has endured more heartache and betrayal than most people do in a lifetime. All I ask is that you do what her father and I couldn't; love her, be patient with her, and please don't hurt her further."

"You okay?" Sara asked, rubbing his arm gently as she sat down on the steps beside him. He'd been outside for quite a while before she realized that he and her mom had both disappeared. He nodded, but didn't look up from his clasped hands. "Your Mom told me to bring you this, said it would help."

Taking the warm mug, his smile was a fleeting as the spicy aroma of Mexican hot chocolate reminded him of better times. "I'm not sure Mom's special hot chocolate can fix this."

In his mind he kept replaying the moment Amy realized that by marrying Sara he'd become her father. The little girl's blue eyes had grown wide and all the color drained from her face. She'd pulled away, kind of curling in on herself physically and emotionally, as if preparing for the pain he'd inflict. What he saw in her eyes haunted him, because he'd that same look too many times over the years.

"She was afraid of me."

"She wasn't. Not really. Gil, you worked that case, you saw the house she came from, read Doc Robbins' reports detailing the years of abuse. Amy needs time to realize that not all parents hurt their kids. To know that YOU would never hurt us."

"But I have hurt you. I never realized exactly how much until tonight."

Leaning into him Sara sighed, unsure how to explain her feelings about their history. "My counselor, Carly has this quote on her wall 'Holding on to a hurt creates more hurt.' She used to make me repeat it every session until I realized that a lot of the hurt in our relationship happened because of fear, expectations, misunderstandings and us not communicating. Gil I hurt myself more than you ever did, we have to let go of the hurt and talk."

Gil nodded touched by Sara's words. "Mother Teresa said, 'I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.' But she has another quote that always makes me think of you." Looking into her dark eyes, he cupped her cheek so he could trace her smile with his thumb. "Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing."

Closing her eyes she tried to capture the moment, to store it away with the other times his actions or words made her feel beautiful. Moments that she used to revisit too frequently; which had lead to those hurtful misunderstandings. His lips brushed against hers in a soft kiss, that she encouraged him to deepen a wonderful reminder of what she'd gained by leaving the past behind.


	27. Chapter 27

AN: This update has been a long time coming because real life has been a trial recently. I'm sorry for the delay in updates, but it allowed this chapter (or perhaps just me) to develop and mature in ways it couldn't have just a few months ago. As things for me personally continue to improve, there will be more updates because there is more of the story to share. Thank you for all that have reviewed and given their support it means more than I can say.

* * *

_Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be. Robert Browning_

In the brief flashes of illumination from passing cars she'd caught glimpses of his satisfied smirk as he tapped the buttons on his phone. It was the same look he'd had when he electrocuted her pickle; he looked younger, adorable and utterly sexy. She grinned as she pulled into his assigned parking space, trying to ignore the desire fluttering in her stomach because the Lab wasn't really an appropriate place to act on such private feelings.

Tilting her head she watched him put his phone away. "Are you going to tell me what you're up too?" She asked softly, remembering Mama G's stories about the kindergartener who put gold foiled chocolate coins in the offertory plate and the teen who'd put a garden snake in a bully's backpack.

"Just guaranteeing that everyone will be in my office fifteen minutes before shift."

Consumed by speculation she hadn't notice him unbuckling his seat belt or walking around the car until he opened her door to help her out. His hand stroked down her arm to grip her hand, his thumb brushing the engagement ring. She smiled at the mischief twinkling in his blue eyes; he seemed to be reverting back to the lecturer she'd first met as he unbuckled her seat belt. Gil seemed so much younger and happier than the supervisor she'd worked for. "Shall we?"

Over the years she'd walked through the Lab's entrance with Grissom hundreds of times. She knew how he held the door open and sometimes would rest his hand in the small of her back or capture her elbow to guide her forward. Her breath hitched as his hand slipped from her elbow, tracing a path to her wrist as his fingers sought out hers until they could entwine. It felt very intimate when his fingers outlined her slim digits, then began to caress gently stroking back and forth along hers.

"Relax." He whispered as they stood before his office door, her mouth was dry as she caught sight of their reflection in the glass. She watched 

him turn and the slow descent of his face, finally closing her eyes as his lips pressed against hers.

"We are really going to do this." Her heart whispered because Gil Grissom had kissed her at work, unconcerned about who saw them breaching the last boundary between his personal and professional life. As he deepened the kiss, giving her a hint at the depth of his passion, Sara finally allowed herself to fully believe in all that he'd offered or hinted at over the years.

He pulled back to open his office door, his expression thoughtful as he cupped her cheek to swipe away the tear. Her smile was tremulous as she stared into his eyes and was finally able to let go of the last and deepest hurt because he'd been able to risk it for her after all.


End file.
